The Saga of the Heylin Dragons
by Yohan von Uberveld
Summary: After being defeated once again, Wuya decides to create her own version of the dragons, using a combination of Vlad, Katnappe, Le Mime, and Ninja Tubbimura. Can the dragons and Spicer defeat them before the onset of 1,000 years of darkness?
1. Yet Another Showdown Lost

**THE SAGA OF THE HEYLIN DRAGON **

_Starring Jack Spicer, _

_And Wuya _

_And some Dragons _

The tale started on a Saturday morning, with the typical noise of an evil alarm clock blasting. A pale hand shot out from under the covers of the bed and knocked the evil alarm clock off the cabinet and onto the ground. A few seconds later, the alarm clock was replaced by a glowing, sparkling, angry ghost. "JACK!" The ghost shouted.

"Wha?" A voice mumbled from under the covers.

"A new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself!" The ghost said, hovering right over Jack's bed. Jack Spicer reluctantly crawled out of bed.

"Which one is it, Wuya?" He asked.

"Go brush your teeth," Wuya snapped.

"That's a lame name for a Shen Gong Wu," Jack muttered. Before Wuya could say anything, he headed into his bathroom to brush his teeth.

Ten minutes later, Jack was fully dressed in his black-jumpsuit and goggled and was heading down into his basement/lair, flanked by three of his heavily armed Jack-Bots. Wuya came zooming up to face him. "Jack, _you idiot boy! _Where were you? Did you retrieve the Genjo Necklace?"

Jack scratched his mane of red hair pensively and uttered a most clever and witty reply. "What in the what now?"

Wuya screamed and started racing around the room in anger. "Okay, okay, fine!" Jack shouted. "I'll go find it!"

He opened his cabinet and pulled out his only Shen Gong Wu; the Monkey Staff. Wuya scowled. "Okay, let's go!" Jack Spicer shouted. "Oook ook ook!"

"Stupid Monkey Staff," Wuya muttered as she followed Jack Spicer.

The Genjo Necklace was at the very peak of a tall mountain in northeast Tanzania. "Home of my monkey brethren!" Jack announced as he ran up the mountain, shrieking like a monkey all the way. He had the Monkey Staff strapped to his back, in place of his usual helicopter-backpack.

"There!" Wuya shouted, pointing up at a small, gleaming necklace at the entrance of a cave in the mountain.

"Not so fast, Jack Spicer!" A familiar voice shouted. Jack saw Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay, four Xiaolin Monks, heading straight for the Genjo Necklace.

"Oh, boy. Jack-bots, Annihilate-ify!" Jack Spicer yelled, pointing at the Monks. The three Jack-bots raced towards the monks.

"Is 'annihilate-ify' even a real word?" Kimiko asked.

"Dragon Ex-Kumei Formation!" Omi yelled. The Xiaolin Dragons assumed the Dragon Ex-Kumei Formation, and summoned their elements. Kimiko used the Judaleet Flip to annihilate two of the robots, and Omi's Tsunami Strike handled the remaining one with unsurprising ease.

By the time the robots were destroyed, Jack Spicer was almost at the cave where the Genjo necklace lay. The Xiaolin dragons hurried to make it there before him. "Ha-ha, the Wu is mine, suckers!" Jack Spicer laughed. He reached out and grabbed the chain of the Genjo necklace.

"That's what you think, Jack," Raimundo sneered. Jack looked up and saw the Dragon of the wind holding onto the other end of the necklace. "I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!"

"Accepted! What's your game?" Jack Spicer replied quickly.

The Brazilian monk looked up at the towering mountains. "Mountain race, Jack. First to get to the Genjo necklace wins. I wager my Sword of the Storm," Raimundo replied.

"I wager the Monkey Staff," Jack responded immediately. They glared at each other over the Genjo necklace and shouted, in almost perfect unison, "_XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!" _

"Gong Yi Tampai!" Raimundo exclaimed. A thick shroud of darkness suddenly surrounded the mountain range. The Genjo necklace levitated itself to the very top of the farthest mountain.

"What does 'Gong Yi Tampai' mean, anyway? It sounds like something out of Chinese restaurant menu," Jack Spicer remarked.

"Shut up and go, you useless boy!" Wuya snapped. Jack Spicer looked up and saw Raimundo leaping towards the second mountain. Jack Spicer quickly used the power of the Monkey Staff to gain the proportional speed, agility, and appearance of a monkey.

"Go Rai!" Kimiko shouted from a safe-point on the back of their guardian wyvern, Dojo.

"Don't mess this one up!" Dojo shouted.

Raimundo nodded, gave them thumbs up, and kept on running. Jack Spicer was still crawling up the second mountain when Raimundo finished the third. The Genjo necklace was two mountains away, and Raimundo clearly had the edge over Jack.

That is, until Jack came crashing down from above, knocking Raimundo off the mountain peak. He went plummeting down, his hands grasping for a ledge or something to catch on to.

"Come, on, Raimundo! Use the Shen Gong Wu!" Omi called. Raimundo nodded and reached for his Wu.

"_Sword of the Storm!_" A flurry of wind surrounded Raimundo, lifting the Dragon of the Wind up, up, and on top of the fourth mountain. He was one mountain away from the Genjo necklace, but Jack was even closer than he was.

"I can't watch," Dojo said, covering his eyes. Raimundo smirked and jumped straight up into the air.

"What's he doing?" Clay asked.

"_Typhoon BOOM! Wind!_" Raimundo sent a cyclone of wind chi straight at Jack Spicer. The monkey boy wasn't fast enough to leap out of the way, and he was sent soaring forward, past the Genjo necklace, and off of the mountain peaks.

A few minutes later, Raimundo emerged victorious, holding the Genjo Necklace into the air. "You did it!" Omi exclaimed. Raimundo closed his eyes and smiled indulgently.

"Of course I did," He said. "I am the master of the wind,"

"More like master of the windbag," Kimiko muttered. 


	2. The Library

Meanwhile, back in Jack Spicer's lair…

"JACK! You are a complete worthless buffoon!" Wuya raged. Jack Spicer winced and hid behind one of his Jack-bots.

"Wuya, you are in _serious _need of some mouthwash, okay?" Jack pointed. Sparks of lightning jumped from Wuya's ghostly skin. Jack took a giant step backwards. "Well, it's not my fault! I only have the Monkey Staff. It's the lamest Wu out there…well, apart from that Eagle Scope thing…"

"EXCUSES!" Wuya shouted. "Pathetic excuses! Just admit it, Jack, you're a failure as an evil genius,"

Jack's lip quivered for a second, and then he burst into tears. "You're right! I am a failure!" Then, he opened his eyes. "But, it's not my fault,"

"I thought we went through this already. Pathetic excuses…" Wuya murmured.

"No, you see, it's not my fault that I can't win. See, we're on the Heylin side, right?" Jack said.

"Yeah…I don't see where you're going with this," Wuya replied.

"Well, we're fighting XIAOLIN Showdowns against XIAOLIN monks. So, really, the whole premise of our battles is completely skewed in the favour of the monks, right?"

"…Yeah, you're right. But--," Wuya began, but Jack cut her off with a sharp wave of his hand.

"But nothing. It's not fair. They should have to play in _Heylin _Showdowns, so _we _can have an advantage too!" Jack Spicer said.

"Since when have _you _ever cared about fairness?" Wuya demanded.

Jack Spicer stared at her as if this was obvious. "Since it started working in our favour. Duh," Wuya nodded. "So, what is a Heylin Showdown like, anyway?"

Wuya nodded sagely. "No such thing. Sorry, Jack,"

"Then we'll just have to make one. To the _Jackmobile!_" Jack Spicer proclaimed.

"You have a 'Jackmobile'?" Wuya queried.

"No, but I should," Jack muttered. "Anyway, does it really matter? I'm really just going to go and beg Chase Young to make the Heylin side more powerful,"

"Oh," Wuya said in a deadpan voice.

Several big cats, the new forms of his defeated enemy, guarded Chase Young's fortress. When Jack Spicer and Wuya approached, they all began growling and edging slowly towards them. "Jack, do something!" Wuya hissed.

Jack nodded and pressed a button on his wristwatch. Several supersonic beams shot out the LCD on the watch. The cats jumped backwards, startled, and started to slink away. The double-doors of Chase Young's fortress slide aside and Jack Spicer walked in, followed by the ghostly Wuya.

"Jack…there is something very wrong here…" She murmured.

Chase's fortress was completely trashed. There were burn marks on the walls and ceilings, shattered antiques littering the ground, and chair legs and other furniture lay broken on the ground. "Okay, Chase Young. You're a great martial artist, but you suck at home redecorating," Jack remarked. Wuya glared at him. "What? It's true! Look at this!"

"Don't you get it? There was a titanic battle here!" Wuya snapped. She would have slapped Jack Spicer if she were solid.

"Er…Chase? Chase Young?" Jack called. "_Chase_?"

Wuya flew through the walls of Chase's fortress, entering his bathroom, closets, big cat habitat simulation rooms, and stuffed plushy rooms. She was about to return to Jack Spicer when she entered what was easily the largest room in Chase's lair. The library.

Tome after tome of arcane knowledge was packed in here. Even Wuya, who was easily the most knowledgeable Heylin witch in the world, saw a few things that she hadn't heard of. "Armies of Jong…Conjuration…" As Wuya read, her eyes became narrower and narrower. She had to have these books!

"JACK!" She screeched.

"What is it, Wuya?" Jack called, walking into the library with a banana in each hand.

"Take these books!" She shouted.

Jack snapped his fingers. "Jack-bots, fetch the books," Five Jack-Bots came zooming in out of nowhere and snatched the books from the shelves. "Okay, Chase isn't here, so let's jet," Jack Spicer said, tossing a banana peel over his shoulder as he left the library.


	3. How to Create A Heylin Dragon'

"At the crack of dawn, Wuya floated into Jack Spicer's room and woke him up by floating directly into his head. "Ah! I told you not to do that! It's an invasion of my privacy!" Jack snapped at her.

"Silence and come downstairs! I need your hands!" Wuya said. Jack yawned and stumbled downstairs. He muttered something about evil geniuses needing their sleep but he didn't make any loud objections.

Wuya had the book about Heylin Dragons on the table in front of her. "Jack, I want to create a Heylin Dragon," Wuya explained.

"Why? It's not like I'm not a good villain," Jack Spicer replied.

"Do you even remember what happens everyday? All those showdowns, all those Shen Gong Wu lost to the monks…" Wuya said. "You said yourself, we needed Heylin Dragons,"

"I said SHOWDOWN, Wuya. I can remember my own words, just not when I want to," Jack said.

Wuya just ignored that. "Well, just read it to me, twit,"

Jack Spicer sighed loudly and reached for the book. "Chapter One: Preparing your Heylin Dragon," He read in a tiny inaudible voice.

_"Step one…find a stupid human, preferably one with pale skin and a psuedo-gothic outfit," _

Wuya floated right next to Jack and started reading over his shoulder. "If you wanted to read it yourself, why make me read it?" Jack Spicer demanded. Wuya ignored him again.

_"Strap the human to a chair, making sure that his or her chains are strong enough to prevent him/her from escaping or killing themselves, which they will most certainly try to do during this process," _

Wuya rubbed her ghostly hands together and cast shifty glances towards Jack Spicer, who was still reading.

_"After that, gather five Shen Gong Wu. It doesn't matter which, but the most powerful Heylin Dragons are made from the Eye of Dashi, the Fist of Tebigong, the Third Arm Sash, the Orb of Tornami, and the Cloak of Oogata_,"

"We don't have _any _of those Wu!" Jack Spicer pointed out.

"Shut up," Wuya replied.

"Okay, okay, jeez," Jack muttered.

_"Perform the Seven Heylin Rituals shown on the following pages, and allow the human to sleep for five days. At the end of these five days, the human will have become a Heylin Dragon, with the power of the Shen Gong Wu and the magic of a true minion of darkness. However, this spell will only last while the Heylin Star---,"_

"Whoa…that is deep," Jack said, dropping the book for no reason. "Who's going to be the lucky guy who gets this Heylin Dragon thing?

Wuya didn't see fit to tell Jack anything right now. "It doesn't matter. The only thing I want you to do is challenge the Xiaolin monks to Shen Yi Bu Dare in the next showdowns,"

"How am I going to do that with only one Shen Gong Wu?" Jack Spicer asked.

"Relax, Jack Spicer, I have it covered," Wuya said. She glared at a Jack-Bot in the corner and it came up to them. It had the Eagle Scope, Chase Young's Wu around its neck.

"That's it? The Eagle Scope? That's the weakest Shen Gong Wu around! I'll lose my evil rep if I get caught using that thing in a Showdown!" Jack Spicer complained. Wuya glared at him.

"You never had an evil rep. You are a joke, a buffoon, a laughingstock, _ad nauseaum_. I thought we'd gone over this last night," Wuya replied.

"But…" Jack began, but Wuya's eyes had already started glowing.

"A new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself!" Wuya announced.

"Really? Ya think?" Jack muttered, but Wuya ignored him.

"It is called the Discus of Dashi," Wuya said. "And it's in the Lost City of Xanadu!"

"Yes! Now I have a chance to test out my Evil Lost City Raiding Music!" Jack Spicer shouted gleefully. He summoned twenty Jack-bots, thirty Spider-bots (which were just eight-legged Jack-bots), and the recently rebuilt Dude-bot, minus the Heart of Jong. The Dude-bot was also carrying a surround-sound stereo system built into it. "Check it; Jack Spicer's Evil Army of Darkness,"

Of course, by the time Jack Spicer, Wuya, and his army of robots arrived, Dojo the dragon and the Xiaolin monks were already there. Jack would have been able to sneak in and find the Wu undetected, but the Dude-bot's evil music gave his position away. "Jack Spicer! Prepare for a most humiliating defeat!" Omi shouted.

"_Jwack Spwicer! Pwepare for a most humiwiating defeat!" _Jack retorted in a mocking voice. "Aw, give it a rest, will ya?"

"No, I will not rest until I defeat you!" Omi retorted. He whipped out the Orb of Tornami and held it ready.

"Hey, we found the Wu!" Clay called from inside a straw hut. Jack Spicer zoomed into the hut, determined to reach the Wu before they did.

Omi rushed in, pushed past Clay, and searched the hut frantically for the Wu. "Uh…l'il partner? It's right here," Clay said, pointing at the glowing metal discus lying on top of a straw mat.

"I am most grateful to you, Clay. Thank you," Omi said, bowing. He turned around and reached for the Discus of Dashi. Jack managed to lay hands on it first.

"Omi, I challenge you to a Hey—Xiaolin Showdown, Shen Yi Bu Dare!" Jack Spicer said.

"Accepted. I shall wager the Eye of Dashi and the Orb of Tornami!" Omi replied.

"Okay, then I'll wager the Monkey Staff and the Eagle Scope," Jack said. "The game…is an assault course! First person to complete it gets the Wu!"

"_Xiaolin Showdown!_" They both shouted. A mystical cloud started to overtake the tiny Lost City, creating another illusion of complete darkness in the sky. The straw huts and old, lazy hills rolled aside to reveal trampolines, monkey bars, pipes, and a swarm of sinister obstacles. The Shen Gong Wu itself flew to the top of a straw hut at the very end of the assault course. "Gong Yi _Tampai!_"

Jack's flew up and used the Eagle Scope to spot Omi struggling to crawl through a pipeline. "Jack! Get down there, you stupid boy!" Wuya hissed from behind the Dude-bot's head. Jack nodded and went zipping through the pipe after Omi. The dragon of the Water was already out of the pipe and was leaping across several kiddy pools filled with piranhas.

"Gah! Jack-bots!" Jack Spicer shouted, pointing at Omi. Three robots nodded obligingly and raced to intercept the monk. Jack activated the Monkey Staff and started to swing out after Omi, passing the monk who was preoccupied with the Jack-bots. He had reprogrammed them to merely dance around, keeping out of the way of Omi's attacks to prolong the fight.

"Omi! Use the Eye of Dashi!" Raimundo suggested.

"Quiet! No steering from the seat in the back!" Omi said quickly, kicking out at a Jack-bot.

"That's backseat driving, Omi," Raimundo replied exasperatedly.

"_Eye of Dashi!" _Omi fired several jagged bolts of lightning that blew the robots apart. Jack Spicer was already past the trampoline obstacle, the gigantic pendulum obstacle, and was crawling through yet another pipeline.

Omi sped up, using the first trampoline to gain a jumpstart over the rest of them. He swung past the swinging pendulum and landed at the far end of the pipe. Thinking quickly, he placed the Orb of Tornami into the pipe. "_Orb of Tornami, Ice!_"

Just as Omi planned, Jack came shooting out the other end, partially encased into a cylindrical block of ice. He wore an expression of complete shock and embarrassment as he landed with a crash beside the next obstacle. "Ha," Omi laughed, jumping past him.

Jack waved his free arm about wildly, signaling for the Dude-bot to come and free him. "Dude, that was lame," The Dude said, pummeling the ice with its fists. As soon as the redheaded boy genius was free, he reactivated the Monkey staff and went tearing after Omi.

"Dude-bot, stun him!" Jack Spicer commanded. The Dude-bot activated its rocket boots and flew after Omi, firing red beams at the monk from its wrists.

"You have no chance to survive! Take your time!" Jack cackled as he zoomed past Omi. The Dude-bot was relentless in its blasting, giving the dragon of the Water no chance to use his Shen Gong Wu.

"Brilliant Jack! You're almost there!" Wuya called. Jack craned his neck around as he flew, sticking his tongue at Omi.

"Jack Spicer, watch out!" Omi shouted.

"Ha, that won't work on me, for I am Jack Spicer, evil boy gen—OWWWW!" Jack Spicer slammed into the side of a hut. His helicopter backpack went flying and the Monkey Staff fell from his outstretched hand. "Ohhh…" He moaned as he slumped on the ground, momentarily stunned.

The heli-pack went flying out of control, its propellers still running. It rocketed around the hut for a while until one of the propellers severed itself from the rest and went shooting away. The chunk of propeller collided with the Discus of Dashi, sending the Shen Gong Wu flying right into Jack Spicer's hands.

Jack found himself holding the Eye of Dashi, the Orb of Tornami, the Monkey Staff, the Eagle Scope, and the Discus of Dashi. He stared at his new Wu, blinking in surprise. This was the first showdown he'd won in _years_. "Time to gloat," He whispered with a smirk.

"Yes! I did it! Go Jack! It's your birthday! Go Jack, go Jack, go Jack, it's your birthday…" Jack roared with laughter as he performed his evil victory moonwalk all around the lost city.

"Enough of this! Let's go!" Wuya snapped. 


	4. Jack Spicer's Briliance

"Okay, first thing's first," Jack said the instant they returned to his lair. "I'm going to call up Chase Young and rub this in his face!"

"Oh really?" A voice said.

"Yeah, real—AH!" Jack Spicer leaped backwards as Chase Young's face appeared on the massive computer screen in his lab.

"Are you the imbecile who TRASHED MY FORTRESS AND ROBBED MY LIBRARY?" Chase Young demanded.

Jack paused for a second. "Nah, you got the wrong imbecile. Good _bye_," He pressed a button on his giant keyboard. Chase Young's face flickered for a second and then vanished from the screen entirely. Jack was in the process of turning around when the criminal mastermind's face came back on the screen. Jack started hammering on all of the buttons simultaneously. "Good _bye! _Good _bye! _I said _GOOD BYE!_"

"Don't bother. I've already hacked into your computer network," Chase Young said with a self-congratulatory smirk. "And I'll crash it and every other piece of electronic garbage that you have in this dump of a lair until you return my books. And I might just destroy everything anyway, even if you do. Your choice,"

"Oh, that's cool. Harsh, but cool," Jack replied. "Let's see…a crushing decision…how about no?"

"Wrong answer," Chase Young said coolly. His face left the screen temporarily. About 10 seconds later, the Jack-bots started shooting at each other, emptying their load of weaponry on the walls, ceiling, and each other. Jack and Wuya cowered underneath a small pile of scrap metal that used to be the Transforming Bot.

After about a minute or two, Jack's basement/lair was completely trashed. There were robot parts everywhere, burn marks on the walls and ceiling, and lots of patches of large, exposed wiring.

Chase Young returned to the screen. "Give me back my books," He said calmly.

"Okay, Mr. Chase Young sir!" Jack Spicer said, scurrying towards the desk where the books were all standing. Wuya rushed to block him.

"Never! Can't you see you're being bullied by this…this…bully?" Wuya said.

"Yeah, I can see it. Don't wanna see it anymore. So, I'm giving him the books so all this can go away," Jack Spicer replied cheerfully, grabbing the books off the counter and walking back to the computer screen. "Here, Chase. I got your books, in mint condition! I even dusted them off for you!"

Chase Young snapped his fingers and a massive black cougar jumped into the room. It snatched the books out of Jack's hands and disappeared, silent as night. Chase Young gave one last smirk before leaving the computer screen for good.

"Jack! You bumbling coward of a villain! Look what you've done! You've bungled my entire scheme!" Wuya shrieked. Jack merely smiled. "What are you smiling at? Do you think this is funny?"

"Yeah," Jack replied. "Yo, Dude-bot! I'm open!"

The Dude came to life, produced a leather-bound tome from its compartment, and tossed it over to Jack Spicer.

"Oh," Wuya said.

"And you doubted me," Jack said with a laugh. "As if I, Jack Spicer, would ever let myself be intimidated with the likes of _him_,"

"Spicer!" The voice of Chase Young boomed. Jack screamed and jumped into the arms of one of his Jack-bots. The Dude was standing in a corner, doubling over with laughter. Jack Spicer's evil voice simulator was lying beside its metallic feet.

"Oh ha-ha," Jack muttered to himself, his face reddening with embarrassment.

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**Kraven the Hunter: **You're right about Jack liking the Monkey Staff. I'll fix it and upload it again to make it sound right. And I don't think Chase Young would have ever told him what the Eagle Scope could do, since it really isn't useful without the Fountain of Hui.

**Lucky Racer: **I know that, but it's funny to think that Jack Spicer doesn't.  
**

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**Kosmic: **Thanks.

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	5. You got Jacked, yet again

The next afternoon, Wuya found Jack Spicer working on his evil theme music in his basement/lair. "Jack, put your toys down and come with me," She said.

"Dude-bot, take over. Add a little rap remix and a dance number in there, and don't make it too cheesy, okay? Mix in some techno-pop if you can," Jack Spicer told his robot before following Wuya.

"Now, your first task will be to rob the Shen Gong Wu vault at the monks' temple," Wuya said.

"Nah. We already have FIVE Shen Gong Wu," Jack Spicer replied. "The book says we need only five. I'm not working any harder than I have to,"

"You're just afraid that you'll lose your Wu if you fight the monks again, aren't you?" Wuya said dryly.

"Yes," Jack Spicer said with a tone of finality. "Wait, I mean, no. Shut up and make me into a Heylin Dragon!"

Wuya laughed maniacally. "Jack, foolish boy, I'm not making _you _into a Dragon. You are a bumbling, oafish fool. You would quickly be defeated no matter how much power I give you,"

Jack Spicer's mouth hung open. "So, you mean I went to all this trouble actually _winning _a showdown with Omi to get all this Wu, and I'm not getting a piece of the pie? That's a completely rip off!"

"Yup," Wuya said cheerfully. "You got jacked,"

"Well, I'm not giving you my Wu. I won them unfair and un-square, and I'm KEEPING them!" Jack put on the Eye of Dashi, strapped the Monkey Staff to his back, and headed for the stairs.

"Going somewhere, Spicer?" A voice said with a gentle purr.

"Katnappe?" Jack Spicer shouted, jumping backwards. "I thought I posted guards to keep you out of my fortress!"

"You mean, those?" The black-clad Katnappe said as her genetically altered super kittens came bounding down into Jack's lair after her. One of them carried the remains of two of Jack Spicer's Bloodhound-bots.

Jack Spicer scowled and brandished the Discus of Dashi menacingly. "Well, prepare to be--,"

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. Jack Spicer could hear muffled voices coming from upstairs. After a while, ninja Tubbimura's massive shape came barreling down the stairs. He was shouting in his usual stilted ninja-speak, and Jack didn't bother listening to him.

"Okay, who invited you guys, and why shouldn't I blast you to kingdom Come?" Jack Spicer said. He put one finger at the top of the Eye. "_Eye of Dash--_," He began, but Katnappe kicked the Wu out of his hand. It went flying over his head and landed in the stretched out hand of Vlad, the Russian vendor. Jack Spicer whirled around and saw Vlad standing behind him, holding the Eye of Dashi. Before Jack could react, a mime slid out from behind Vlad and started to imitate throwing a lasso over the boy genius. "Hey, what the--,"

The mime yanked Jack Spicer forward, sending him sprawling. The Discus of Dashi, the Orb of Tornami, and the Monkey Staff went flying out of his hands. "_Le Mime! _What are you _doing _here?" Jack demanded.

Le Mime didn't answer him, obviously. He just walked over to Jack and conjured an invisible box over him. Then, he mimed scribbling something on the box. "Hey, tell me what that says!" Jack Spicer demanded.

Tubbimura and Vlad carried the invisible box out of the house and stuffed it into the nearest mail-slot. "You can't do that! That's my house!" Jack yelled. "Don't you dare go up to the porch! Don't even think about knocking on that door! Katnappe, don't open that door! I said, don't open that door! Don't go into the house! Don't go into the basement! Don't touch my CDs! Don't touch my _STUFF! _WAAAAAAH!"

The next morning, a package arrived at the Xiaolin temple. Master Fung was bewildered when the postman arrived. The Xiaolin temple hadn't ordered any packages…or did they? After signing for it, the postman returned to his car and brought out a strange glass-like box. Master Fung signed for it and took it into the temple.

Almost instantly, he was mobbed by what appeared to be ten thousand Xiaolin dragons-in-training.

"Ooh, is that for me?"

"No it's not! It's mine!"

"Now, let's not get too hasty here, pard'ners. We all know it's for me,"

"It is mine. I am most certain of that!"

"But it's mine! It has to be mine!"

"C'mon now, I never get anything!"

"Enough," Master Fung said, holding up one hand. "It has no markings of any kind,"

"Could it be a trap?" Omi said, whispering as if speaking normally would cause the box to explode.

"I don't think so, but we must be very cautious. Clay, would you do the honors?" Master Fung said. Clay tilted his hat respectfully and moved slowly towards the box. He gently moved his hands along the edges until he could feel a ribbon or a piece of string dangling off.

He unraveled the ties and popped the latch on the box. "Why, I don't believe it!"

"What is it?" Kimiko asked.

"It's _Jack Spicer_," Clay said, lifting the evil boy by his collar. Jack looked even paler than usual, as he shivered in fright and fear.

"What are you doing here?" Omi demanded.

"I-I didn't c-come here on p-purpose! Wuya s-sent me h-here in a b-box and h-had other v-v-villains take over my base!" Jack Spicer stammered. He was freezing, which was odd, since it was summertime.

After he had warmed up, Jack began talking again. "I was thrown out of my own lair!" Jack complained. "So, can I crash here for a few days…weeks…months…"

"NO!" Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay shouted.

Jack turned on the full Puppy-Dog eyes on Omi. Beads of sweat dripped down the young monks face. "Please stop doing that! Please!" Omi shouted, but Jack was relentless. He did his best to look as sad and orphan-like as possible.

"Don't you have parents, Jack?" Kimiko snapped.

"They don't want me any more!" Jack shouted back. "Besides, I'm an orphan…if you'll believe that,"

Omi turned around slowly, still rooted on the spot. "My friends, we cannot ignore a homeless orphan in need. It is the Xiaolin way,"

"It is?" Raimundo asked, glancing at Master Fung. The Xiaolin master casually strode away, mumbling something about meditation scrolls.

"Jack Spicer, why should we let you stay with us?" Kimiko demanded. "Every time we do, you end up robbing us blind and giving our Wu to Chase Young or Wuya!"

Jack Spicer pondered this for a second. "Your point being…"

"Forget it!" Clay said. "End of story! We're gonna mail you back to your house,"

Jack decided to use his final, signature move. He took a deep breath, rolled up his sleeves, and threw himself at Omi's feet, wringing his hands while screaming the word 'Please' over and over.

"Okay, fine, you can stay!" Omi said.

"What?" Clay exclaimed. "He's just going to steal our Shen Gong Wu!"

"He might not this time," Omi pointed out.

"What makes you think that?" Jack asked.

"Tiger instincts," Omi replied.

There was a slight pause lasting but a few seconds. "That makes no sense," Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, and Jack Spicer said at once.

"That's because you don't have tiger instincts," Omi said cheerfully, and walked back into the temple.


	6. The False Dragons

Meanwhile, back at Jack Spicer's lair, the four villains, Le Mime, Ninja Tubbimura, Katnappe, and Vlad, were all standing in a row, facing the floating ghost-witch Wuya. "You four have been chosen to fulfill the positions of the Heylin dragons, to counter the forces of the Xiaolin dragons,"

"What will be my element?" Ninja Tubbimura asked.

Wuya phased through his skull and entered his brain. "Hmm…" She murmured, her voice echoing through the chubby ninja's head. "I sense much ability in you. Yes, your Heylin element will be…_Thunder!_" She floated into Vlad's head and pronounced him as, "_Sea_,", then to Katnappe, and called her, "_Sky_," then, finally, Le Mime became, "_Steel_,"

"When do we get to kick some Xiaolin butt?" Katnappe asked, baring her claws.

"All in good time, my dear…all in good time," Wuya replied. "What we have to do is assign Shen Gong Wu and then perform Seven Heylin rituals. We shall skip the resting period, of course,"

Jack Spicer had built an impenetrable fortress in his tiny little room. It was made entirely out of melted down CDs, a Goo Zombie handheld, and about 20 mats and pillows. He wrote the words '**DO NOT ENTER UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH' **on the outside of his little pillow fortress and sat there, plotting.

"So, if I steal the Longi Kite, I can fly over there and throw out those stupid jerks," Jack muttered to himself. "But I'll need some stronger Wu to beat them. Maybe I can take the Lasso Boa-Boa and the Serpent's Tail and the Fist of Tebigong,"

"Jack! If you are gonna plan to steal our Wu, don't whisper about where we can hear you!" Clay shouted from the adjacent room.

"Okay, fine!" Jack replied. "Stupid hick…"

"I heard that!"

Jack looked at his only remaining Shen Gong Wu, the Eagle Scope. It wasn't much of a Shen Gong Wu, especially when compared to the Monkey Staff transformation or the Discus of Dashi's blade-like effect.

When Jack was sure that everyone in the temple was asleep, he crawled out of bed and tried to leave his room. Unfortunately (for him), it was locked. There was a note on the door, in Omi's handwriting.

I AM SORRY, JACK SPICER, BUT I CANNOT ALLOW YOU WANDER AROUND FREELY AFTER DARK, LEST YOU ARE TEMPTED TO STEAL OUR SHEN GONG WU.

MOST SINCERELY, YOUR WORST ENEMY, OMI

"Stupid cueball!" Jack snapped.

"I heard that!" Omi called from his room.

Jack checked his watch. It was 1:00 AM. Jack whistled to himself for a few minutes, until he remembered something. He tapped on the LCD display on his watch thrice and waited for a few seconds.

"Yo," The voice of the Dude-bot crackled through the tiny speakers on the watch.

"Shh! Not so loud, they can hear you!" Jack whispered.

"Sorry…well, yo dude? What's up?" The Dude asked.

"None of your beeswax. I just want you to tell me what those freaks are doing in my lair!" Jack demanded.

"Yeah, they're just chilling, lying around, eating your popcorn, prank-calling Chase Young using your voice thingy to make it sound like you did it, you know, like you used to do," The Dude replied.

"Are they performing any rituals?" Jack asked. "You know, with Wuya, the ghost b—witch?"

"Oh, they did that a few hours ago,"

"They did?"

"Yeah, it was tight, yo. First, they tied that cat chick to this bed, the ghost lady flew around her and whispered these freaky words, and then they did the same thing to the fat kid, the mime, and the Russian dude. It was cool, especially with the fireworks and the funny Japanese-looking words--,"

"Kanji?"

"Yup. They're Heylin dragons now!"

"Okay, well, can you keep watching them? And send me an MP3 with my latest evil theme song. Bye!" Jack said to the Dude-bot.

Jack terminated the conversation with a push of a button. "Well, now I'm _completely _obsolete!" Jack moaned. "But I'm not going out without a fight, for I'm JACK SPICER, EVIL BOY GENIUS!"

"Will you SHUT UP IN THERE?" The monks yelled.

"Sorry," Jack said. "Stupid monkeys,"

"We heard that!"


	7. The Cloak of Oogata

Jack Spicer sat on the porch, watching the monks train with their new Shen Gong Wu. After losing the Eye of Dashi and Orb of Tornami, Raimundo and Omi were now training with the Sword of the Storm and the Ruby of Ramses, respectively.

"Is this all you do with your time?" Jack asked them. Omi was using the Ruby to lift a giant boulder into the sky while Clay smashed it to bits with the Third Arm Sash.

"No, we also eat, sleep, hunt Shen Gong Wu, and play in the goo of the Zombies," Omi replied.

"Oh," Jack said.

"Guys! Guys!" Dojo shouted, slithering out of the temple. Master Fung followed the green wyvern, holding the Shen Gong Wu scroll. "A new Wu has been activated!"

"Really?" Jack Spicer exclaimed.

"Not for you," Kimiko said as the monks crowded around Master Fung. He quickly unraveled the scroll and read it aloud.

"This new Shen Gong Wu is known as the Cloak of Oogata. Whoever wears it will be able to manipulate his or her size and shape at will," Master Fung explained. Dojo became a massive flying dragon and gestured for the monks to hop on.

"Ooh, ooh, can I come?" Jack Spicer cried.

"NO!" The monks snapped, and Dojo flew away into the distance, his tail flicking left and right in the wind.

"Stupid…muttering…monks," Jack grumbled.

Meanwhile, the Heylin dragons were taking the Jackmobile (yes, he actually DID have one) to the Arctic circle, where the Cloak of Oogata was riding on the back of none other than a sleeping Abominable Snowman. "Oh, brother," Katnappe muttered as the Snowman held the Cloak in tightly in two giant icy fists. It was also asleep, and didn't seem wake-able enough to engage in a Xiaolin Showdown.

Dojo the dragon, punctual as usual, came swooping down. "Brr…it's _way _too cold here! I'll be in Hawaii if you need me," Dojo said, dropping the Xiaolin dragons off and zooming away.

"The monks!" Vlad roared.

"Nice eye, genius," Raimundo replied.

"Dragon Ex Kumei Formation!" Omi said quickly.

"Dragon Ex Annihilation Formation!" Vlad ordered. The Heylin set of dragons slid into their formation (which was criminally similar to the Xiaolin Dragon's formation) enhancing their elemental abilities.

The Xiaolin dragons faced the Heylin dragons. Kimiko broke off and jumped into a fight with Katnappe. Vlad and Omi went charging at each other while Le Mime and Clay squared off behind them. Tubbimura made the first move, brandishing the Monkey Staff against Raimundo's Sword of the Storm.

Raimundo sent a whirlwind after the ninja, but he used his monkey skills coupled with his ninja abilities to jump out of the way and blindside him with the Monkey Staff. The dragon of the wind managed to roll back to his feet. "_Sword of the Storm_!" He yelled, sending several bursts of wind. Ninja Tubbimura jumped up and kicked the sword out of Raimundo's hands. The extra wind that was swirling around the sword caused it to spin out of control and end up embedded in a mound of snow. Raimundo quickly called it back to his hand, but Tubbimura caught the dragon in a bear hug, squeezing the breath out of his lungs. "Ah! Get off! Get off!" The ninja Tubbimura disarmed Raimundo once more and took the Sword of the Storm.

"Eye of Dashi – Smoke!" Katnappe hissed, sending her elemental force of smoke at Kimiko. The dragon of fire dodged it and replied with several blasts from her Star Hanabi. Katnappe's natural catlike agility managed to save her from being sizzled, but Kimiko wasn't aiming for her. The Star Hanabi blasts had started to melt the ice under Katnappe's feet. The Heylin dragon was sent slipping and sliding along the ice. She ended up in a sprawling across the ice. "I hope you don't think you won! Eye of Dashi!" Katnappe shouted. The bolt of lightning shot across the ice, blasting Kimiko several feet into the air, causing the Dragon of fire to land with a sickening crash. The Star Hanabi flew into Katnappe's hands…er…paws.

Le Mime, the annoyingly silent mime, was quietly forming objects out of the air. Clay couldn't see them, but he didn't have to; he knew that they were weapons. The dragon of the Earth wasn't sure if the mime could even use Shen Gong Wu, but he didn't want to take a risk. The mime thrust forward with what felt like an invisible sword. Clay parried it with the Third Arm Sash and sent the same Wu forward in the form of a crushing fist of earth. The mime wasn't impressed; he merely made a brick wall to protect himself. "_Seismic kick –Earth!" _Clay bellowed, creating a fissure into the ice. The mime stumbled backwards and almost fell into the crack when all of a sudden he sprung up once again and swung something straight towards Clay. The dragon of the Earth was knocked clean off his feet and into an unconscious heap on the ground. The mime fetched the Third Arm Sash and tied it around him.

Omi and Vlad were still squared off, staring at each other with animosity in their eyes. Omi could still vaguely remember when Vlad had tricked him with the Crystal Glasses and the Reversing Mirror. Vlad slid forward, feinting right and running left. Omi had lunged to the right by accident, allowing Vlad an open way to leap over him and tear the Cloak of Oogata from the back of the still-dormant Snowman.

The Heylin dragons hopped into the Jackmobile and zoomed away, cackling maniacally as they left. They had captured Shen Gong Wu today, even more than Jack could ever get.

The dragon of the Water revived Clay and Kimiko, and used the Sword of the Storm to pump some wind into Raimundo's crushed lungs. "We have failed most miserably, my friends," Omi said.

"You said it," Raimundo muttered.

"Of course I did," Omi replied.

**Kraven: You were right. I've edited it out so that the abominable snowman is sleeping. **


	8. Another Vault Robbery

Tubbimura, Katnappe, Le Mime, and Vlad presented their new Shen Gong Wu to Wuya. "The Third Arm Sash, the Cloak of Oogata, the Ruby of Ramses…all these Shen Gong Wu! Brilliant, my Heylin dragons! Brilliant!"

"Where is Jack Spicer?" Chase Young's voice demanded. The evil genius's face had come up again on the giant computer screen.

"He's gone," Wuya said.

"Then return my book," Chase Young replied.

"We did," Wuya said.

"The _Heylin Dragon _tome is still missing,"

"And that's my problem because…"

"_I want my book back._" Chase Young snapped. Several big cats started to materialize inside Jack Spicer's lair, growling at the Heylin witch and her four apprentices.

"You have _got _to be kidding me," Katnappe said. "Doesn't freak-boy have a security system against this guy?"

"No," Wuya said.

"Typical," Katnappe muttered.

"Dragons! Attack them!" Wuya ordered, pointing at the big cats. Vlad used the Eye of Dashi to electrocute the cats and Katnappe used the Cloak of Oogata to become a giant, and then batted the unconscious pets away.

"Sorry to harm a fellow cat," Katnappe said. "But it's official Heylin business,"

Chase Young merely smirked. "You may think you've won. But you shall reap your mortal folly, soon enough,"

Before anyone could make a quip at Chase Young's sudden attempt at wax philosophical, he had left the screen.

Jack Spicer was skulking around the temple vault when the monks returned. There was a giant metal chain around the vault and he couldn't get in to steal anything. Apparently, they had finally gotten wise to the fact that Jack could get in way too easily to take their Shen Gong Wu.

When he heard the monks coming, he immediately ran around the temple to be there at the entrance when they arrived. "So, did you get the Wu? Which one was it? Was it a cool one? Huh? Huh? _Huh_?" Jack Spicer prattled on and on.

"Zip it," Kimiko snapped as they made their way into the Meditation Room to think about their failure. Jack didn't see any new Shen Gong Wu on them, and they seemed to be missing the ones they left with.

"While they're busy moping, I'll be busy raiding their stuff for bot-parts!" Jack murmured. He snuck past the Meditation Room, his black outfit making no sound to disturb them.

"Jack Spicer, we know you are there," Omi's voice came from behind the closed door of the Meditation Room. Jack Spicer scowled and pulled a face at the door.

"Omi, I know you are ugly," Jack muttered as he stomped past.

He made his way to their tiny little rooms. He started with Clay's room, rummaging through the cowboy's possessions. He only had clothes, dental products, and no less than ten bottles of Grandpappy's Texas Tin-Horn Sizzlin' Salsa Sauce. Jack took the salsa sauce and moved onto Raimundo's room.

Raimundo's belongings were similar to Clay's, except he had a handheld gaming system with the first two editions of _Goo Zombies. _Jack took the games and the cartridges and shuffled off to Kimiko's room.

"Technological paradise," murmured Jack. Kimiko's room had all the latest gaming technology courtesy of her father, Mr. Toho. "Excellent, excellent! MWAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Keep it down in there! I'm trying to sleep!" Dojo's voice called from somewhere below Kimiko's room. Jack Spicer snatched all of the games and batteries from Kimiko's room and made his way to Omi's room.

Of course, Omi had nothing that Jack Spicer could build something with, so he decided to use it as an impromptu laboratory.

After about an hour, Jack had finally finished his masterwork of the day. He had not only repaired the helicopter-backpack, he had also designed a gun that could shoot highly concentrated salsa sauce.

"Let's roll," Jack said with a shifty look in his eye. He made his way past the Meditation Room and out of the Temple. He edged towards the temple vault and sprayed the wall with the super salsa sauce.

A few moments later, against all laws of reality, the salsa sauce started to eat through the barrier protecting the Shen Gong Wu vault. Jack easily slipped through the hole that he had created in the wall.

"Wu here, Wu there, everywhere there's a Wu!" Jack cackled as he grabbed the Silver Manta Ray and ordered it to grow to its full size. After taking nearly all of the Shen Gong Wu, Jack climbed into the Silver Manta Ray and draped the Shroud of Shadows over the jet.

The now-invisible Silver Manta Ray, carrying Jack and his stolen Shen Gong Wu, zoomed out of the vault and soared up through the sky.

"Time to get rid of some uninvited guests," Jack said. 


	9. Flight

That evening, Master Fung called the Xiaolin Dragons-in-training to the Vault. "I am afraid I have some bad news," Master Fung said.

"What is it, Master Fung?" Omi asked.

Master Fung produced a scroll from the folds of his robes. "Those villains who used the Xiaolin style for evil," He said, unrolling it in front of them. The scroll had an image of a ten-pointed black star amid thousands of smaller ones. "Wuya is harnessing the ability of the Heylin Star, the sister of the sinister Heylin Seed,"

"Where's this Star?" Kimiko asked. "If it's anything like the Star Hanabi--,"

"You'll lose it to Jack Spicer," Raimundo snickered.

Master Fung silenced them. "Speaking of Jack Spicer, it seems that our 'grateful guest' has stolen all of our Shen Gong Wu, save for the Mantis Flip Coin,"

Somehow, none of them looked surprised in the least, so Master Fung decided to proceed.

He turned around and led them out to the gardens in front of the temple. After making sure they were all paying attention, he looked up at the sky and pointed out one of the millions of pinpricks of light. "There, is the Heylin Star. The source of the evil powers that your enemies are now using,"

"No big deal! We can take them," said Raimundo.

"No. When the Heylin Star is shining, their magic and powers are doubled. Anyone who would try to fight the Heylin side is a fool," Master Fung said.

_((Scene Change)) _

"Gonna fight the Heylin Dragons, yeah, yeah, YEAH!" Jack Spicer sang, remaining one note behind to the song that was playing in the Silver Manta Ray's sound system. "Go, evil, go! Go, evil, go!" He turned up the volume and began to bob his head in rhythm with his evil theme music.

"Okay, let's see," Jack murmured. "I'll use the Mind Reader Conch to figure out their positions. Then, the Ring of the Nine Dragons will split me into four. And _then_, I'll use a few of the other Shen Gong Wu to lure those idiots into a trap! And _then_, I'll have them!"

He burst into a fit of maniacal laughter that ended up with him coughing and choking. "Either way, I, Evil Boy Genius Jack Spicer, will rule all!" Jack said, zooming past his house. "But first, I need to get some help from my best friend, Chase Young!"

_((Scene Change)) _

The atmosphere around the Xiaolin Temple as even grimmer than after the time Mala-Mala Jong was risen. The Xiaolin Dragons and Dojo had spent all their time poring over scrolls, trying to figure out how to stop the Heylin Star. It seemed that it was about as invincible as they Heylin seed, but without a weakness like the Moonstone Locust.

"Here, this one looks a bit interesting," said Raimundo, holding up a scroll. It had the image of the Sapphire Dragon on it. The image was animated, showing the Dragon pursuing several evil-looking stick figures until it turned them into sapphire statues.

"No, we must not invoke the power of the Sapphire Dragon, lest we end up trapped once more," Omi said. Dojo shivered.

"I do NOT want to relive _that _nightmare episode," Dojo concurred.

"We could always use the Lunar Locket to readjust the moon to block the light of the Heylin Star," suggested Kimiko. "We'd just have to deal with the tidal waves and the ecological disasters,"

"We only have the Mantis Flip Coin, remember," Dojo said.

"Omi, do you have anything to say about this?" Clay asked, looking around for their smallest friend. "Hey, he's gone!" Clay shouted. Raimundo looked behind the stack of books and scrolls that Omi had been reading, but he wasn't there either. Dojo slithered into the Temple and shouted for him, but he didn't respond.

Kimiko had gone into the vault, but it was completely empty. No Mantis Flip Coin, no Omi, nothing...

"Omi's gone with the Mantis Flip Coin!" Kimiko shouted.

"You don't think..." Clay murmured as he approached the vault.

"He went after Jack Spicer and those dragons with the MANTIS FLIP COIN?" Raimundo demanded. "Is there a brain in that oversized head of his?"

"Well, come on, I guess we better go keep him from getting himself killed," said Kimiko, and they all left the Temple on Dojo's back in search for Omi.


	10. Convergence

Jack landed the Silver Manta Ray outside of Chase Young's fortress. He opened his bag of Shen Gong Wu and checked to make sure he had his Shen Gong Wu. "This should be enough to convince Chase Young to help me," Jack walked into the fortress, the bag of Wu in tow.

"What do you think you are doing here?" Chase Young's dry voice demanded. Jack looked around and saw that Chase Young had fixed all the damages to his place.

"I came to ask for your help," Jack said, visibly shaking as Chase Young, in his dragon form, descended down on him like a particularly monstrous bat.

"Why should I give you my help, right after you stole from me?" Chase demanded, glaring at Jack with glowing yellow eyes.

"Because I have Shen Gong Wu!" Jack said, presenting his bag of Shen Gong Wu. Chase Young didn't reply, so Jack took the opportunity to continue. "Behold, the awesome Helmet of Jong!" He said, showing off the mystical helmet.

"I can already see everything," Chase Young replied.

"What about…the Zing-Zom Bone?" Jack suggested. "Imagine, an entire evil army of mindless zombies under your control!"

"I already have an army," Chase Young remarked, pointing at the ferocious pack of big cats he controlled.

"Er…" Jack was beginning to get a bit nervous. "What about, the Shard of Lightning? You can go really fast!"

"I have no need of it,"

"The Sun Chi Lantern? Heart of Jong? Longi Kite? Sands of Time?"

"Spicer, if I wanted those Shen Gong Wu, I would have taken them and incinerated you already," Chase Young said.

Jack sighed. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice," Jack reached into the bag. "Where is it…" He murmured, throwing out the Ring of the Nine Dragons, the Mind Reader Conch, and the Golden Tiger Claws.

"What are you looking for?" Chase asked.

"The Sphere of Yun. I need it to trap you so I can take your tigers and use them to attack Wuya and the Heylin dragons," Jack said.

"Didn't you ever learn not to reveal your sinister plans to your victims?" Chase Young hissed. He snapped his fingers and three cats bore down on Jack. They dragged him away from the bag by his collar.

"Hey, what is this?" Jack demanded, yelling as they dragged him away.

Chase Young pawed through the Shen Gong Wu. "These could be of some use in my plans…" He murmured to himself. He dumped the Wu out on the floor in the center of his fortress.

"Come, cats, we must vanish," Chase Young said. He picked up the Sphere of Yun and disappeared into thin air, along with his army of cats.

_((Scene Change)) _

Meanwhile, Wuya was rallying her four new apprentices for battle.

"Come, we must prepare!" Wuya hissed, zooming around them. Katnappe was playing a video game against Vlad, while Tubbimura was raiding the refrigerator. Le Mime was practicing his miming routines by throwing things at Wuya wherever she went.

"Nah, we already did all the work we're going to do," Katnappe said, over the sound of a fiery game explosion.

"Ya. Vlad will do more work…in ten years," Vlad replied, restarting the game.

"Hey! You can't do that! I didn't get a chance to save!" Katnappe shouted.

"Ga! You are just as lazy as Jack Spicer!" Wuya shrieked. She left them and went to go accost Tubbimura.

"Ninja Tubbimura! I order you to help me!" Wuya said.

Tubbimura walked right through her, carrying a giant frozen chicken leg. He heated it up with the Star Hanabi and shoved it (the chicken) down his massive mouth.

"I created you! I gave you everything you have now!" Wuya howled. She floated into Tubbimura's head, but he used his Heylin powers to expel her. She went racing out of one ear and ended up inside one of Le Mime's invisible boxes.

By the time she escaped, Tubbimura had gone on to guzzling milk straight from the carton. Wuya cringed in disgust and was about to go try and convince Le Mime to help when the doorbell rang.

"Who ordered pizza?" Katnappe called.

Le Mime pointed at himself and mimed eating a pizza. He jumped over several empty pizza boxes littering the floor of Jack's lair. Tubbimura bounded up the stairs after him, trampling on an obscure robot part that no one cared about.

"Yeah, dude, it's eleven-fifty," The pizza boy said, standing at the doorway of the Spicer residence.

"Sure," Katnappe said, activating the Ruby of Ramses. "So _drop_," She flicked her wrist and the pizza boy hit the ground. "And give me eleven…thousand pennies!" She used the Ruby of Ramses to shake the pizza boy until he dropped all his money and the pizza. "Now, bye-bye!"

The pizza boy went sailing across the yard and into the middle of the street, where several cars had to dodge to avoid hitting him.

"Well, that was fun. Who's up for pizza?"

After the Heylin dragons had indulged themselves on pizza and terminally long Goo Zombies marathon, Wuya had finally had enough.

"Very well! I made you this way and I can take away everything you have!" Wuya shouted. "All your powers, all your skills, any mastery you have ever had over anything in your entire life! Gone! Vanished! Never to be seen _again! _You will be crawling like a baby, unable to articulate speech or cognitive thought!"

The Heylin dragons didn't respond.

"And you won't be able to play Goo Zombies!" Wuya added.

"Okay, okay, fine! You don't need to go overboard!" Katnappe said.

"Ya, what do you want us to do?" Vlad asked.

Wuya smirked. "We will invade Chase Young's fortress and STEAL everything he has!"

"Hah! This is very interesting!" Tubbimura said between bites of his pizza. "Let's go!"


	11. Raimundo vs Tubbimura

Meanwhile, as Chase Young and his army of cats fled their own fortress, Omi was approaching with the Mantis Flip Coin in tow.

"Hmm…this is most suspicious," He whispered as he walked right in through the open doors of the fortress. There were no guards to meet him, no host of big, angry, yowling cats to harass him on his way to speak with Chase Young. In fact, the martial arts master didn't even seem to be here. Very suspicious…

Omi flipped across Chase Young's entrance hall, careful to avoid setting off one of the many deadly traps that he no doubt kept active to ward away intruders. However, the traps seemed to be inactive. Omi glanced around the entrance hall, wishing he had the Mind Reader Conch to figure out this puzzling turn of events. In the end, he merely shrugged and kept going.

"Chase! Chase Young! Are you there?" Omi called, looking around. He couldn't sense Chase's presence, or that of his feral cats. It seemed that the fortress was completely deserted. "This does not make sense," Omi remarked. Candles and chandeliers illuminated the main area of the fortress, and the doors leading to the other parts of the building were wide open.

However, Omi didn't need to search the building. What he was searching for just happened to be sitting there, right in the middle of the large room. Jack's bag of stolen Shen Gong Wu…

Omi, of course, assumed that it was a trap. He used the Mantis Flip Coin to leap over the bag, checking to see if there were any dangerous weapons cleverly hidden among the Wu. There weren't any. Omi poked through it, but it turned out to be just Shen Gong Wu.

"Well, that was a piece of pie," Omi murmured, reaching into the bag.

"Not so fast, chrome-dome!" A voice called. Omi looked around and saw Jack Spicer flying towards him. His clothes had been torn and he was quite battered, but he still had his typical manic gleam. He grabbed one end of the Shen Gong Wu bag and held onto it tightly.

"It's mine, I stole it, fair and square!" Jack said, refusing to let go as Omi tried to take the bag.

"Very well. I challenge you to a Xiaolin Show--," Omi began, but it was cut off by a loud thud from outside the fortress.

Vlad, Katnappe, Ninja Tubbimura, and Le Mime were standing at the entrance of the fortress, headed by the ghost witch Wuya. They charged through the hall and entered the main room, only to see Omi and Jack playing tug-of-war with a bag full of Shen Gong Wu.

"Get them!" Wuya hissed.

"In my country," Vlad began. "Warriors attack the easiest target last,"

He raced towards Omi but the Dragon of the Water leapt into the air and used the Mantis Flip Coin to execute several flips. "Nice move," Katnappe remarked from behind him. She was about to use the Ruby of Ramses to slam Omi against the ceiling when all of a sudden there was yet another loud thud from outside the fortress.

"My friends!" Omi exclaimed as Clay, Kimiko, and Raimundo came running into the room. Dojo was riding on Clay's shoulder.

"What did you think you were doing?" Kimiko demanded. "You could have been killed!"

"I am sorry, but I had to attempt to obtain the Shen Gong Wu," Omi said, clasping his hands together and bowing. "It was my fault, so I came to Chase Young, knowing that Jack Spicer would be coming here as well,"

"Well, don't do that again, ya hear?" Clay said. Omi nodded.

"Okay, happy hour is over!" Jack Spicer announced. He had the bag of Shen Gong Wu in one hand and was flying towards the glass ceiling of the main room. "This day belongs to Jack Spicer, evil boy genius!"

"Not so fast!" Tubbimura shouted, and Le Mime stepped forward. He mouthed something and whipped out the Tangled Web Comb. The thick cords of the comb went shooting through the air, wrapping themselves around Jack Spicer's wrists. Le Mime yanked him down to the floor, only to have everyone pounce on him.

"Okay, hold it!" Dojo said as he realized how many people had at least one hand on the Shen Gong Wu bag. He started counting on his fingers. "That makes two…four…eight…NINE-way Xiaolin Showdown…"

"Nuh-huh!" Jack said. He pressed a button on his wristwatch and his Dude-bot came running in. "That makes eleven…"

"This is a ten-way Xiaolin Showdown. What's that called again?" Dojo said.

"We don't know!" Raimundo asked.

"Well…let's just make it up as we go along," Dojo said. "Okay, what are your wagers?" Dojo paused as everyone except Omi started yanking out Shen Gong Wu from the bag.

"I choose…the Mantis Flip Coin!" said Omi.

"I choose the Ring of the Nine Dragons," said Jack.

"I choose the Shard of Lightning!" said Kimiko.

"I choose the Golden Tiger Claws," said Raimundo.

"I choose the Lasso Boa-Boa," said Clay.

"Figures," Katnappe muttered. "Well, I'll go with the Ruby of Ramses,"

The mime held up the Tangled Web Comb.

Dude-bot had selected the Woozy Shooter.

"I will be using the most honorable Star Hanabi," Ninja Tubbimura said.

"Eye of Dashi," said Vlad, and Dojo continued.

"It'd be a four-on-four battle. Omi versus Vlad, Kimiko vs. Katnappe, Clay vs. the Mime, and Raimundo vs. Tubbimura,"

"Hey, what about me?" Jack cried. "I'm not fighting the Dude-bot!"

"Like, seriously," The Dude-bot added.

"The winners of the first four bouts will face each other," Dojo said, ignoring him. "The winners of the _third _round will face Jack and the robot," He looked around. "You got it? Good. Now, let's go,"

"_XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!_"

Chase Young's fortress did not change much. The only thing different was a strange mist that had permeated the air.

_((Raimundo v. Tubbimura)) _

"Let's go!" Raimundo said, squaring off once again against his old nemesis, Ninja Tubbimura. "Golden Tiger Claws!" He cut a hole in the air and jumped through it. The dragon of the Wind was transported far across time and space, and ended up being dumped in the library.

When he got there, Ninja Tubbimura was waiting for him. "I knew you would be here! I can know everything, for I am one with the way of the ninja!"

"Oh, shut up," Raimundo muttered, racing towards him. "_Wind!_" After invoking the element, a fell breeze began to encompass the darkened library. Books and scraps of parchment went flying everywhere, and Tubbimura had to squint to see past it all.

"Star Hanabi!" Tubbimura shouted, sending a plume of fire shooting through the breeze. Raimundo used his Wu to dodge, but he ended up right beside Tubbimura. "Ha-ha! I have you now!"

Tubbimura lunged forward and collided with Raimundo, sending both of them sprawling. "Nice one, chubby," Raimundo grunted, cutting another hole in the air with the Tiger Claws. He jumped in and vanished from sight, just as Tubbimura was about to scorch him.

"I can sense your presence around me!" Tubbimura bellowed, rising to his feet and wandering around the library. He glanced to the left and to the right. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a dark shape lurking behind him. Tubbimura smirked and whirled around, casting another jet of flames.

"Wrong way, Tubbimura," Raimundo's voice called. The wind he had conjured was making his voice carry. It seemed as though he was taunting the ninja from everywhere and nowhere at once.

"Come out where I can see you!" Tubbimura demanded, blasting the bookcases in frustration. If he couldn't see Raimundo, he couldn't catch him. And the wind was making it hard for him to hear, too.

"No way, man. Although, if you wanted to find me, all you'd have to do was _look_," Raimundo said. Tubbimura heard the voice, and looked up, only to see Raimundo descending down. "_Typhoon BOOM! Wind!_"

"_Heylin Thunder!_" Ninja Tubbimura roared, leaping up to meet Raimundo in midair. Their attacks collided, sending fierce winds and booming thunder cascading down upon the library, destroying every tome within it completely.

Tubbimura and Raimundo landed, facing each other. They stood like that for the better part of five minutes, before Raimundo slid forward and collapsed to the floor, unconscious. Tubbimura stole his Golden Tiger Claws and used it to transport them both back to the main room.

Dojo, Jack, and the Dude-bot were sitting in a protective commentator's box, and had been waiting there expectantly for the outcome of the battle. WhenTubbimura appeared with Raimundo's sleeping form, Dojo had to proclaim him the winner. "Tubbimura advances!"

The ninja entered a mocking bow and sat there, holding two Shen Gong Wu for the Heylin side. "This looks bad..." Dojo murmured.

"Yeah, sucks to be you," Jack replied.


	12. Clay vs The Mime

_((Clay vs. Le Mime)) _

While Raimundo and Tubbimura fought in the library, Clay and the mime decided to take a quick trip into Chase Young's private training arena. The Showdown had elevated the arena to the top of a small hill, so the loser would end up having to take a nasty tumble.

The mime made the first move by hurling an imaginary steel cage at Clay. The dragon of the Earth jumped out of the way and countered with the Lasso Boa-Boa. "Well, that was fast," Clay said as he started to pull Le Mime towards him.

Unfortunately, the mime somehow slipped through the ropes and came charging towards Clay with the Tangled Web Comb in his hand. Clay dodged the first attack and avoided the second one by jumping behind a punching bag. "Come and get me!" Clay shouted, leaping out from behind the punching bag. The mime mouthed several words and a shard of what appeared to be gilded steel went hurtling at Clay.

Clay managed to duck and avoid being impaled, but the shard of steel cut a swath through his favorite ten-gallon hat. Time seemed to stop as he slowly removed his hat and examined the hole in a mixture of confusion and disbelief. "No-one…" Clay whispered. "…does _this _to my HAT!" Before the mime could react, Clay was charging him at near superhuman speed.

The mime hurriedly conjured an invisible wall, but Clay smashed right through it and collided with him, sending him flying backwards through the air. "_Seismic Kick – EARTH!" _This attack summoned several jagged stalagmites that rose up from the earth and trapped the mime within.

"That ought to show you, you dirty yellow-bellied snake, you…" Clay murmured as he dusted himself off. He was about to go and claim victory when all of a sudden the mime jumped on his back and clasped his hands around the dragon's mouth.

"Hey, geroff!" Clay growled, trying to fend off Le Mime's attack. The mime made a sign that basically stood for 'never'. Clay sighed. Time to take drastic actions. Before the mime could react, Clay opened his mouth, bared his teeth, and bit the mime's hands as hard as he could.

The mime's face turned all kinds of colors. Green, red, blue, purple, and Clay's personal favorite, pink, before he finally reacted. "YEEEEEEOWWW!" The mime's eyes popped as he crumpled to the floor and started screaming obscenities in French.

"You…you said something," Clay said. "You just violated the most sacred code of being a mime, pard'ner,"

The mime turned white and fainted on the floor. A strange light jumped from the palms of the mime's hands and vanished into nothingness. "There goes your powers," Clay said, using the Lasso Boa-Boa to tie up the mime. He picked up the mime and made his way back to the main room.

_((Scene Change))_

Dojo, after having had to declare Tubbimura the victor, was hoping that the next winner would be a member of the Xiaolin side. The commentator's box was a good vantage point, so Dojo, Jack, and his robot could clearly see Clay coming in with Le Mime slung over his shoulder.

"Clay advances!" Dojo exclaimed. Then he glanced at Jack. "You owe me five bucks,"

"Fine, fine, whatever," Jack muttered, ordering his robot to pull up the money. "Jerk,"

"So, did anyone else win?" Clay asked from far below the commentator's box.

"Tubbimura WHUPPED your boy Raimundo!" Jack said with a loud cackle.

"Oh, shut up, buckwheat," Clay replied. "Well, can I get up there?"

"Hmm…" Jack murmured.

"Nah. It's too crowded," Dojo said. "But, if you want, you can sit around and stare at the bag of Shen Gong Wu. But no touching,"

"Fine," said Clay in a dejected tone.


	13. Kimiko vs Katnappe

"Catch me if you can!" Kimiko shouted, raising the Shard of Lightning into the air. After she invoked its power, she dashed across the main room with impossible speed, leaving Katnappe standing there, looking foolish.

"Get back here!" Katnappe screeched, making a cat-like noise before running after Kimiko. The dragon of the Fire led her down several flights of stairs and into a large, brass doorway.

The doorway led to what appeared to be Chase Young's private swimming pool. The pool was wide and expansive, and filled with water, for some reason. There were four diving boards, placed strategically around the room, and several chandeliers brightly lighted it up. Katnappe shuddered. She _hated _pools.

"Can we get with the Showdown already?" Kimiko said.

"Okay, okay," replied Katnappe, as she pointed the Ruby of Ramses at a particularly heavy-looking rubber pool toy. "_Ruby of Ramses!_"

The pool toy was lifted high into the air and sent hurtling at Kimiko. "_Shard of Lightning!_" She shouted, and vanished in an expanding circle of light. Seconds later, she reappeared a feet away from where the toy had landed.

Before she could breathe a sigh of relief, several razor-sharp diamond keys rained down on her. "Hey, watch it!" Kimiko said, dodging them in quick bursts using the Shard of Lightning. "I thought diamonds _were _a girl's best friend,"

"You pretty much have no chance to survive," Katnappe said. "_Heylin Sky!_" The Heylin dragon was soared along the ceiling, heading straight for Kimiko. Kimiko, of course, ran to the nearest diving board, quickly scaled the ladder, and jumped onto the diving board.

She did three takes, then bounced off the diving board and made herself airborne. Katnappe smirked as Kimiko came rushing up to meet her. "Why bother? With my magic, I can fly. You, on the other hand, had to jump off a diving board,"

"Whatever," Kimiko said as she started grappling with Katnappe. She tried to reach for Katnappe's Shen Gong Wu, the Ruby of Ramses, but Katnappe swung her around.

"Have a nice _trip_," Katnappe hissed, spinning Kimiko around and around. "See you next FALL!" When she was sure that Kimiko was sufficiently dizzy and disoriented, Katnappe let go and Kimiko took a nosedive straight into the pool.

Katnappe cackled as Kimiko went under, and then started zooming around. "I'll go get her later," She said to herself.

If Katnappe had been paying attention, she would have noticed the steam rising up from the pool. She would have also been aware of the sudden rise in temperature that made her black outfit a bit uncomfortable to wear. Of course, Katnappe was never always the quickest to respond to external stimuli, so it came as complete shock to her when a giant flare of steam and fire came shooting out of the pool towards her.

"Wha?" She murmured as Kimiko shot past her. The dragon of the Fire almost hit the ceiling of the pool, but she ended up doing a small twirl in midair that sent her plummeting back the floor level.

"Ha! You didn't get anything done! It was all a waste of your time," Katnappe said, fumbling with her Shen Gong Wu.

"Actually…" Kimiko said, flashing the Ruby at her.

"What?" Katnappe said, her eyes widening. "Then what do I have…" She looked to see the Shard of Lightning had been slipped partially up her sleeve.

"_Judaleet Flip – FIRE!_" She shouted, leaping into the air and sending a plume of spiraling fire straight at the Shard. The moment it made contact, Kimiko said, "_Shard of Lightning!_"

The Shard of Lightning shimmered for a second, before Kimiko used the Ruby to propel Katnappe forward, just an inch, to set it off.

Kimiko couldn't help but laugh as the black blur slid forward and vanished into thin air. There were lots of loud noises, as Katnappe slammed into random pool paraphernalia. "Sorry," Kimiko said as the Shard of Lightning slipped free and Katnappe returned to normal speed. She was standing at the edge of the pool, wobbling around like a drunken person.

"I yield," She rasped.

"Well, that was fun," Kimiko said as she saved Katnappe from slipping into the pool. ?"

"Okay," Katnappe said, still dizzy from the battle. "Let's just…" She slid to the ground and lay there, unmoving.

"Oh brother," Kimiko muttered, moving to help her defeated opponent.

"_Surprise!_" Katnappe sneered, sending a jolt of Heylin magic running up Kimiko's arm.

"Cheater!" Kimiko shouted, and made to attack Katnappe. Unfortunately, the spell had already taken effect, and she was out cold.

_((Scene Change)) _

Dojo had ordered pizza, and he and Jack were having an eating contest. Jack had squirted some Grandpappy's Texas Tin-Horn Sizzlin' Salsa Sauce to two slices of pizza, one for him and one for Dojo.

"First person to scream and or shoot smoke out of their ears loses," Dojo said.

"You're on!" Jack replied, and started eating. After they had swallowed their pizzas, Dojo and Jack locked eyes with each other. Dojo summoned every ounce of dragon mental strength to keep from making any reactions at all.

A bead of sweat dripped down Jack's forehead, and he seemed to develop a pinkish tinge.

Dojo's eyes bulged out and turned purple. Still, he did not make a sound.

Jack's ears flared and his hair seemed a bit redder than usual.

Dojo turned scarlet and his face contorted in pain. "AAAH!" He yelled, and the game was done.

"Victory is mine! This day, once again, belongs to Jack Spicer, evil boy g--," Jack announced.

"Hey, you didn't swallow your pizza!" Dojo said, pointing at the un-chewed pizza inside Jack's big mouth.

"Oops," Jack said, chewing and swallowing it. "Still, I won!"

"Nope, no, no, forfeit. Dojo wins, and _you lose!" _Dojo said with a laugh. He swallowed the rest of the pizza and collected another five dollars from Jack Spicer. Then, he turned and peered through the Plexiglas shielding around the commentator's box to see Katnappe and Kimiko below.

"Oi, Dashi…well, fine, _Katnappe advances!_" Dojo said dejectedly. That was Heylin – 2, Xiaolin – 1.


	14. First Round, Over

"Omi, I beat you once and I beat you again!" Vlad said as he led Omi into their arena, Chase Young's treasury.

The treasury was filled with all kinds of things, including giant golden swords, ruby necklaces, and diamond-studded stuffed bears. "Eye of Dashi!" Vlad fired a lightning bolt at the crystal chandelier illuminating the room. The treasury was plunged into pitch darkness, exactly what Vlad had been trying for. He would have the advantage, having the magical sight of a Heylin dragon.

Of course, Omi had a few tricks up his sleeve as well. He still had his tiger instincts, and could feel out Vlad's moves. This would be a close fight…

Vlad made the first move, firing off three bolts of lightning. Omi dodged left, jumped up, and landed on a giant gold brick. "You have missed, thanks to my tiger ins--," Omi began, but was cut off by yet another blast from the Eye of Dashi.

"Do not stop to speak," said Vlad. Omi heard the sound of metal sliding across the floor and saw the glint of what appeared to be one of Chase Young's decorative swords. He jabbed the blade forward, trying to skewer his opponent.

Omi jumped off the gold bar and landed on his hands. He walked like that for a bit then whirled around so he could flip the coin. He used the Shen Gong Wu momentum to twirl towards Vlad and planted both feet towards his chest. The darkness prevented Vlad from seeing what Omi was doing until…

"Mantis Kick!" shouted Omi, kicking the Eye of Dashi out of Vlad's hands.

"Tsunami Strike!" Vlad went staggering backwards, dazed by the sudden blast of icy water.

"_Repulse the Monkey!_" There was a loud thud and Vlad went sailing into a pile of gold coins.

"Ooh…" Vlad moaned.

While Vlad was still stunned, Omi started checking the dark floor for the Eye of Dashi. He had to dig through several rubies, emeralds, and diamonds, but he eventually found it.

"Eye of Dashi," Omi whispered, raising the Eye above his head. The aura of lightning power lit up the room. The first thing Omi did was using it to check where Vlad was lying.

However, when Omi arrived at the pile of gold coins, the only thing he could find was a Vlad shaped impression left there by the Russian vendor. "Where did he go?" Omi asked, scratching his head as the Eye of Dashi started to dim.

"Right here!" Vlad laughed. Omi looked around only to get clobbered by a gold brick. "Ha-ha-ha. As they say in your country, you got jacked,"

Vlad snatched the Eye of Dashi and the Mantis Flip Coin from Omi and made his way back to the main room to make Dojo pronounce the Heylin side victorious.

"Not so going fast!" Omi shouted. The little slang-challenged Dragon of the Water dropped down on Vlad from above. He covered his eyes with his hands.

"Get hands out of my face!" Vlad said. "And I think you meant, 'Not going so fast!'"

"Actually, I said 'Not so fast going'," Omi replied, still covering up Vlad's eyes. "And I think YOU meant, 'get your hands out of my face',"

"No! I did meaning 'Not so hands out of face'," Vlad murmured, trying to feel his way through the room even though Omi's hands were blocking his eyes.

"If you had tiger instincts, you would know that the correct phrase is 'get faces hands out of!'" Omi replied as Vlad narrowly missed blundering directly into an iron maiden.

"That makes no sense! It is 'faces eyes of hands!'" Vlad snapped. He finally pointed the Eye of Dashi at Omi. "Of Dashi Eye!" He said resolutely. Of course, nothing happened. "ARGH! I meant, 'Dashi of Eye!'"

By now, Omi had successfully scrambled Vlad's brains with his wanton misuse of the English language. The little monk dropped down from on top of Vlad's head. The Heylin dragon was still trying (and failing) to properly activate his Shen Gong Wu, so Omi took this opportunity to finish the fight.

"_Tornado Strike – WATER!_" bellowed Omi, and the Heylin dragon was knocked down by a single blast of water.

"Which phrase…was correct?" Vlad moaned feebly. Omi beamed at him.

"The answer was forty-two," Omi said, and Vlad passed out.

_((Scene Change)) _

Back in the commentator's box , Jack Spicer and Dojo were engaged in a fierce round of cards. "I see your three-dollar bill…and raise you two paperclips," Jack said, glaring at Dojo's bet. There was a great bit of shuffling and muttering, and then Jack showed his cards: the Queen of Robots, the Jack of Jacks, and the Evil Boy Genius of Clubs.

"Ha! I win again!" Dojo laughed, showing Jack his cards. "Grandmaster of Spades, Ace of Clubs, Ace of Spades, another Ace of Spades, yet another Ace of Spades, and the Two of Wu! I win again!" Dojo took everything that Jack had bet. "Wanna go another round?"

Jack rummaged through his pockets. All he had were a few bits of fluff, and a thumbtack. "Nah, I'll pass,"

Dojo peered through the glass of the commentator's box just in time to see Omi dragging Vlad into the main room. "Omi is the victor! Omi advances!"

"So…that's like…Heylin 200, Xiaolin 0?" asked Jack as he counted on his fingers. Dojo glanced at him.

"Ya know, for an evil boy genius, I'm not really seeing the 'genius'. Are you sure you passed that test?" Dojo asked.

Jack said nothing.

"Anyway, the next two battles will be…" Dojo said, pulling a chart out of nowhere. "Jack Spicer against Ninja Tubbimura, and his robot versus Katnappe! Then, Omi will fight the victor of the first bout, and Clay will fight the victor of the second bout,"

Jack Spicer activated his helicopter-backpack and zoomed out as Dojo lowered the glass panes protecting the commentator's box.

He stared down at Tubbimura's chubby frame. "Well, this is going to be easy. Cholesterol will get him _way_ before I do!"

**((Author's Notes))**

**Kosmic: Yes, there is a pattern. Fortunately, I'll be able to break it in the next rounds, since neither Xiaolin dragon will be participating.**

**Lucky: Well, it is HEYLIN Thunder, so it is supposed to be more potent than regular old Thunder. Besides, the laws of science get bended a little during showdowns, which is why it gets all dark and people start flying around through the air. **


	15. MultiJacked!

Jack Spicer flew along the ceiling of the main room, laughing and pointing at Tubbimura was still on the ground far below him. "Ha-ha! You're so fat, you make my 500-pound, chain-smoking, burger-holic Aunt Cadie look thin!"

Tubbimura flushed red and pointed the Star Hanabi at Jack. He fired off several blasts but they all missed Jack by a mile. "You're so dumb, you make me look like a genius!" Jack cackled. He paused in midair. "Wait a minute…"

"Golden Tiger Claws!" Tubbimura shouted, taking the Golden Tiger Claws that he had won from Raimundo. He cut a hole in midair, jumped through, and reappeared next to the flying Jack Spicer.

"Now, I will defeat you!" Ninja Tubbimura said.

"Hey, psst! Buddy!" Jack said.

"What?"

"You can't fly,"

"…uh-oh,"

Tubbimura plummeted back to the floor amid peals of wild laughter from Jack Spicer. "This is too easy!" He said, wiping his eyes.

"Golden Tiger Claws!" Tubbimura cut a portal and jumped through it to safety.

He reappeared on top of the commentator's box, holding the Tiger Claws in one hand and the Star Hanabi on the other. Jack was so busy laughing that he didn't notice the flames until they had blasted off the blades to his helicopter-backpack.

"Hey, psst! Buddy!" Tubbimura said, interrupting Jack's fit of maniacal laughter.

"What?"

"You can't fly,"

"…uh-oh,"

This time, it was Jack Spicer that was falling through the air. "Ah! Ah! Ah! Help me! Mommy!" The evil boy genius managed to catch the edge of his cloak on one of Chase Young's unnecessary spiky things that lined the walls of his main room.

Tubbimura jumped down from the commentator's box and soared across the room, delivering a solid kick to Jack Spicer's stomach.

"Ow! Hey, illegal use of feet!" Jack snapped. Tubbimura merely chuckled. "Ring of the Nine Dragons!"

Jack's body was lit up with a strange light and he was split into four separate entities. One of them received all of his (rather meager) brainpower, which gave it the title of Big Head Jack. Another one of them received Jack's physical strength. That one became Strong Jack. The third one got Jack's whining, crying and immaturity, so he'll be called Baby Jack, even though he is the same age as regular Jack. The fourth Jack was Moxie Jack, the sarcastic, gutsy, but not too bright one.

"Let's go!" Big Head Jack shouted, pointing at Tubbimura. The four Jacks ran up and down the walls until they realized that Tubbimura had made his way down to the center of the room. "Get him! Get him!" Big Head ordered.

Strong Jack, who was essentially weaker than regular Jack (it is possible), but still stronger than the rest of the other quarter Jacks, barreled towards Tubbimura. Tubbimura swung around his considerable girth and sent Strong Jack flying.

"Hey! That was so mean!" Baby Jack complained. "I'm telling Mommy on you!" This Jack Spicer ran to hit Tubbimura in the face when the ninja jumped out of the way and delivered a stunning shot to Baby Jack's neck. Baby Jack's eyes rolled into his head and he fell to the ground next to Raimundo.

"This is bad! Okay, team! Let's regroup!" Big Head ordered. He whistled. Strong Jack and Moxie Jack converged on Big Head. The three Jacks went into a football huddle, which consisted of conspiratorial whispers and spiteful glares at Tubbimura, who was standing away from them, looking confused.

"Okay, I think we should all jump him!" Moxie Jack suggested.

"No, that's stupid," retorted Strong Jack.

"I concur," Big Head Jack said.

"Yeah. I should be the one to jump him," Strong Jack nodded his head.

"Shut up," Big Head Jack snapped. "Anyway, my plan is to jump him. While he's beating the heck out of you guys, I'll take his Golden Tiger Claws and Star Hanabi,"

"Agreed," Moxie Jack whispered.

Baby Jack came waddling over. "Buy me toys!"

"I concur," Strong Jack said.

"Do you even know that means?" Moxie demanded.

"No, but it makes me sound smart, doesn't it? I concur. I concur. I concur. I concur. I concur!"

"Shut up," Moxie Jack said.

"Alright, BREAK!" Big Head Jack commanded. The team huddle broke up and the three Jacks ran to surround Tubbimura.

"I concur," Strong Jack added unhelpfully.

"Blitz! Blitz!" Baby Jack squealed, jumping up and down. Moxie and Strong Jack raced forward and collided with Tubbimura. The two of them bounced backwards several feet and landed on the floor with the wind knocked out of them. Tubbimura smirked, picked them up, and punched them clear across the main room.

"Oh, come on!" Big Head muttered. He glared furiously at Baby Jack. "Aren't _you _going to do something?"

"Buy me toys!"

"SHUT UP! _Ring of the Nine Dragons!_" Big Head's ring flashed and the current Jacks vanished. This time, Jack Spicer split up into _nine_ Jacks, each one with a now ridiculously low amount of power.

"Blitz! Blitz!" One of the Jacks shouted, and they all charged Tubbimura at once. The ninja managed to bat off their first ten waves of attacks with nothing but his pinky finger, but one of the smaller ones managed to slip under his defenses and swiped the Star Hanabi.

"Give that back!" Ninja Tubbimura started. "Heylin Thun--,"

"_Star Hanabi!_" The ninja tried to jump, but six Jacks landed on him just as the Star Hanabi blasted him. The flames knocked him a few feet into the air and he ended up landing on one of them.

"_Ring of the Nine Dragons!_" said one of the Jacks, and they all slid back to form one goofy pale-skinned entity.

"Woo-hoo! Buy me toys! I _concur! _BLITZED!" Jack cackled.

_((Scene Change)) _

"Well, Jack Spicer advances. Who would have thought it?" Dojo said, shrugging his little dragon shoulders.

**((Authors Notes)) **

This fic is far from over. It's barely even half way completed!


	16. Always Remember to Replace the Batteries

"A powerful robot going up against a cat-obsessed little girl," Dojo murmured as the heartless Dude-bot stepped out into the main room to go up against Katnappe. "Well, this should be fast,"

"Money where your mouth is. I bet that my Dude-bot will destroy Katnappe!" Jack Spicer said, knowing full well that he had no money.

"You're on!" Dojo replied. "What're the wagers?"

"Let's see…" murmured Jack. "Okay, you can have the Jackmobile's remote control if you win. But if _I _win, and I know I will, I get to have…Kimiko's head," He glanced around suspiciously. "For my bobble-head collection! Honest! Shut up!"

"Okay," Dojo shrugged and turned to watch the fight.

Below, Katnappe and the Dude-bot had just started their showdown. The Dude-bot raised its Woozy Shooter and was about to spray Katnappe in the face when she vanished. Just completely vanished.

"Whoa, that was fast," The Dude-bot said.

"That was lame," Jack Spicer said, pressing a button on an oversized white remote control he had mysteriously acquired.

"It really wasn't that cool," The Dude-bot amended quickly, just as Katnappe reappeared behind it. "_Ruby of Ramses!_"

The Dude-bot soon found itself being levitated into the air. "React, you stupid hunk of junk!" Jack snapped, hammering on seemingly random buttons while squinting at the battles.

"Hey! Just because I'm made of circuitry doesn't mean I don't have _feelings_," The Dude-bot replied. It didn't seem to notice its nemesis anymore.

"I-I'm sorry…" said Jack, his lips quivering.

"Seriously. That was harsh and uncalled for, Dude," The robot added.

Jack stared at his feet and dropped the remote control. About a half-second later, the Dude slammed straight into the ceiling, courtesy of Katnappe. "Well, that was lame," Jack said.

"Is that the sound of a new jet-car, I hear?" remarked Dojo off-handedly. The dragon slithered around the commentator's box, trying to avoid having to commentate on the fight itself.

The Dude-bot slowly but efficiently picked itself off of the ceiling and dropped down to the floor, completely unharmed.

"Well, that was a complete waste of a turn," Katnappe said. She jumped out of the way of another intoxicating cloud of smoke from the Woozy Shooter.

"Dude-bot! Go into Overdrive!" yelled Jack. Katnappe raised an eyebrow as the Dude-bot's legs started to extend, as if it was using the Monsoon Sandals. The robot's arms and neck stretched out next, and they curved and twisted as if they weren't even made out of metals and wires. "Excellent, excellent!" Jack cackled. The robot's eyes lit up with an eerie gleam and its body started to expand. A string of grenades slid from a small orifice and wove their way around the Dude-bot's body like so many snakes.

At least twenty twisting tentacles shot out of a series of holes in the Dude-bot's torso and started thrashing about wildly, nearly shattering the commentator's box.

Two massive machine guns that could not have possibly been with the Dude-bot earlier flipped out from behind its back and somehow slipped into its hands. A laser pistol jumped from a small compartment in the Dude-bot's (now massive) head, and landed in one of the gloved tentacles that were flailing around.

"Well, there goes my car," Dojo said.

The Dude-bot whirred and clanked as it took slow, calculated steps towards Katnappe. Likewise the Heylin dragon of the Skies took several steps back to avoid getting stomped to oblivion.

"_Ruby of Ramses!_" Katnappe tried to levitate the robot into the air. A tentacle flicked out and knocked the ruby out of her hands. "_Shard of Lightning_," She shimmered and flickered out of normal sight, as she ran outside the normal confines of time and space.

A blur here, a dash there, and Katnappe ran rings around the ludicrously slow Dude-bot. "Ha-ha! I'll win, very fast!" She said, repeating a line of dialogue she had used a long time ago, when she had defeated Omi in a showdown for the Changing Chopsticks.

Of course, had she been watching her back instead of reciting unmemorable lines from previous showdowns, she would have been at least vaguely aware of her time running out. The Shard of Lightning's effect faded, and she soon found herself running at normal speed…and heading directly towards an active grenade.

Only sheer luck allowed her to leap great bounds across the room to avoid getting blown to smithereens. Unfortunately (for her, and Dojo's bet), one of the Dude-bot's tentacles went whipping right towards her.

"You have got to be kidding me," Katnappe said once again as she was knocked backwards by the tentacle. She stumbled backwards and was about to attempt to feign defeat when she looked up and saw the robot about to stomp her into oblivion. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"I win! Go Dude-bot! Go Dude-bot!" crowed Jack as he jumped around inside the commentator's box. Dojo was not amused.

The Dude-bot's foot rushed towards Katnappe, about to crush her, when all of a sudden….

"BATTERIES RUNNING LOW. OVERDRIVE SHUT DOWN TO CONSERVE POWER," thundered a voice from inside the Dude-bot's metal shell. Then, right before their very eyes, the robot's weapons were retracted and its colossal shape collapsed within itself. A little while later, the Dude-bot was back to its original form.

Katnappe sat there and watched the whole thing with a look of mingled surprise and gratitude. Who knew that Jack Spicer's bumbling mistakes would actually be her salvation?

With one careful, fluid move, Katnappe rose to her feet and punched out the Dude-bot. The robot's head spun off its neck and went clattering to the floor. The Woozy Shooter fell into Katnappe's hands, and the Heylin side claimed victory.

"What? No fair! I was robbed!" Jack whined, clawing at the commentator's box in desperation.

"Nope. I won fair and square. Gimme the controls!" Dojo demanded. Jack scowled and reached into his pocket.

"Here!" He said, thrusting the keys to the Jackmobile into Dojo's hands. "I hope your insurance agency ditches you right before a car accident!"

"Gee, how thoughtful," Dojo said in a deadpan voice, jingling the keys in front of his face.


	17. Wuya Devises Something New

While the showdown was reaching its final stage, Wuya the evil ghost was busy plotting in the mouth of Chase's cave. The fever of the battle had all but lost her Heylin dragons to her, and their losses were shattering the spell that Wuya had used. What was worse, Chase Young was afoot and planning something of his own. It seemed as if Wuya's plan was collapsing around her.

"Why didn't those stupid idiots train?" Wuya snapped at no one in particular. "I could have made them more than a match for even Chase Young himself!" She zoomed around the stone fangs of the cave entrance in a rage, trying to figure out a way to manipulate this situation to her advantage. After all, she was a Heylin Sorceress. She didn't give up this easily. Not after all of her plans, not after all of the magic, not after all of the _work _she had put in by bolstering her Dragons' lazy butts.

That was when she remembered the spellbook. It was still supposed to be at Jack Spicer's lair. Perhaps there was a useful spell or two lurking within the musty pages of the ancient codex. If Wuya was lucky, maybe she could even destroy both the Heylin and the Xiaolin dragons in one strike. If she was _really _lucky, she'd be able to do all that and crush Chase Young in the process.

Yes, this could work to her advantage.

_((Scene Change))_

Wuya arrived at Jack Spicer's lair quickly. She was surprised at how fast she could move when she really put her mind to it. Wuya thought about this for a bit, but was distracted when a sudden stream of air rushed past her with an almost wolf-like howl. While it did not affect her ghostly body, it still appeared wildly on her senses.

Seconds later, Jack Spicer's sleek new Jackmobile 2.0 clambered out of the wreckage in his laboratory and shot out of garage, smashing the sliding door apart. Wuya watched it fly over her head and disappear over the moonlit horizon. It had a steady whine of engines that she could hear long after the vehicle had left her field of vision. "Stupid machines," Wuya muttered, shaking her head in disgust. What was the point of building a flying machine when there were Shen Gong Wu like the Longi Kite available? Honestly, Jack could be so stupid sometimes. And he wondered why she always left him for someone else. Wuya was glad that she had that spellbook available. If she couldn't destroy the Dragon warriors, she could at least find a better minion than Jack Spicer.

The old tome was resting on Jack Spicer's workbench. Wuya saw to her disgust that someone had dropped an oil-drenched monkey wrench near the half-open book. "No respect for one of the greatest codexes of evil ever written," Wuya grumbled darkly. If she had her powers, she would have set fire to the entire building.

Knowing that she couldn't touch the book, she settled for reading the pages that were open.

**GREATEST DARK LORDS AND LADIES OF BYGONE ERAS**

It didn't sound too appealing. It merely contained a list of villains and their accomplishments. Wuya and every other Heylin warrior worth his or her salt had memorized these twenty times over by the time they were old enough to take over their own miniature citadel. Wuya herself was listed near the very end for exterminating some giant lizards, creating a race of ravenous spiders, and temporarily ruling the world using an army of rock golems as henchmen. It was easily more impressive than some of the entries (such as Squilorquous, listed for his evil attempt at torturing prisoners to death by forcing them to pronounce his name 10 times fast), but it paled in comparison to the efforts of certain other villains who were bad enough to have themselves referred to as 'Nameless Enemy' or ' HeWhoseNameCannotBeSpoken'.

Wuya was about to give up and accept that she was going to be beaten again when another rush of wind blew into the lair. Wuya heard the rustle of papers and whirled around to see the pages turning rapidly.

The book flipped through the entire Dark Lords and Ladies section, skipped over the list of magical artifacts in the world, moved past the Armies of Mala-Mala-Mah-Jongg (the extremely competitive Shen Gong Wu-based demon) and stopped at one of the last chapters of the book.

**HOW TO SUMMON A TRUE HEYLIN DRAGON**

**

* * *

**_In one easy step and 500 hard steps_

A less desperate person would have been just the slightest bit suspicious about this, but Wuya's current plan was currently falling apart. She had to think of _something _lest she lose all her dignity and end up as Chase Young's henchwoman. And if a suspicious wind had suspiciously opened the book to a suspiciously helpful page, then so be it. It was probably one of her evil ancestors guiding her.

With this thought in mind, she gritted her immaterial teeth and read on.

_**AUTHOR'S NOTES**_

-Sorry this was so late. My Internet connection randomly decided to disintegrate, and then I ended up losing all of my work. I had to restart from scratch. I promise I'll make it up to you! I can't wait to see your reviews.


	18. It's All Part of My Plan

"For the final round," announced Dojo from his safe point in the commentator's box. "Jack, Katnappé, Clay, and Omi will face off in a four-way showdown – after these messages!" The wyvern then turned around to face the evil boy genius. "So, what do you think is going to be the outcome of this match?"

Jack tried to think. He rubbed his few currently awake brain cells together and decided to blurt out the first spark of thought he came up with. "I think I'll wipe the _floor _with all of them! I have the best Shen Gong Wu!" His overconfidence was matched only by his lack of noticeable combat prowess.

"Sure, whatever you say, kid," replied Dojo, playing with the controls of Jack Spicer's vehicle. "What do you want to bet next, your entire lair?" He asked nonchalantly.

"No, of course not, lizard. I'll bet my entire _mansion_!" Jack said, slapping his hand on Dojo's claw. The dragon wrenched free of his grip and flew out of the commentator's box, shaking his head exasperatedly.

"_Someone's _becoming a gambling addict," He said casually, flying down to meet his friends.

Kimiko and Raimundo had just awoken from their sleep. While Kimiko was checking to make sure she still had all of her bones, Raimundo was going on about how unfair the match was to Omi, the only person who would listen.

"And, you see, he completely cheated!" Raimundo shouted in Omi's poor ears. Years of intense vision-and-hearing training had left Omi's ears extremely sensitive, and Raimundo's noise literally made them vibrate. "What kind of attack is _Heylin Thunder_, anyway? Thunder is just the sound that whatever makes something or whatever something does something to the air! How was that supposed to hurt me? Explain!"

Omi nodded and shrugged. "More of Wuya's insidious trickery, I expect?"

Raimundo snapped his fingers. "Of course!" He said as Omi tugged at his ringing ears. "Speaking of which, where is the ghost hag anyway?"

"No idea," said Dojo as he shrank to gecko-size and curled up next to Clay. The cowboy was using this intermission to carve toy horses out of wood. "Say, where did you get that wood?" asked Dojo.

"I won it off of Jack Spicer," drawled Clay. "He tried to beat _me _at Texas Hold 'Em," He revealed a deck of cards, a robotic carving knife, and a large flare gun that he had evidently won out of gambling with Jack.

"How _does _he fit all of that stuff in his pockets?" asked Kimiko. She glanced over at Jack. The boy genius was hovering over Tubbimura and Vlad, trying to get them to play dice with him. It was really getting pathetic, since he was out of almost out of things to wager. Pretty soon, he'd be betting off his dignity.

"Could you stop him? He is clambering all over on my last nerve endings!" said Omi. No one bothered to correct him this time.

Dojo snapped his fingers…er…claws as he slithered up the commentator's tower and entered the safety of the booth. "Remember to buy Metamucil, folks!" He said. He chuckled silently to himself before saying, "Okay, let's commence with the final round of the Showdowns," He didn't sound too excited about it. "And make it quick, I need to do my shopping and the stores close at midnight. So, GET MOVING, WILL YOU!"

_((Scene Change)) _

While the warriors were moving into combat position, Wuya was busy performing her newest spell. Since she couldn't carve the ancient runic alphabets onto the ground or light three black candles around the book, she had to make do with just picturing those things in her mind's eye. A lesser sorceress would not have been able to pull this off, but Wuya was used to doing things without her hands.

"Now, I wait," said Wuya, floating upwards while still imagining her spell being formed.

Unsurprisingly, the runes began glowing a deep, shimmering white. The aura of magic seemed to rise up around her in the form of smoking tendrils of light. There appeared to be scores of them at first, but then they coalesced into four ill-defined silhouettes. Before Wuya could comment on that, the four shapes slid forward gracefully and fused with one another, forming one entity out of many. It flickered for a bit, testing the limit of Wuya's imagination.

"Now…" whispered Wuya. The flickering shapes shifted slightly, not quite moving but _rippling_. They grew larger, then smaller, and then started to take on a different appearance all together. Features began to build on each other. Silver plate-armor grew over a leather tunic while a grayish helmet grew over a flaming skull. Wild shocks of white hair lined their backs while spikes sprouted all over their armor plates.

Wuya was impressed, or would have been if her new minion had found the decency to be more than 11 inches tall. "That's it?" she asked, feeling disappointed. After all the magic she had wasted summoning this, she had at least expected it to be as tall as Jack Spicer. This was a…_rip-off! _And she thought that her evil _ancestors _had guided her to this.

"Me smash!" said the spiky creature in a painfully high-pitched squawk. "Me smash everyone _good!_" There was a loud whining noise.

Wuya sighed. "Great," She motioned to the creature. "Just follow me. Maybe if we're lucky, the Xiaolin dragons will be too busy laughing to stop you from stealing the Shen Gong Wu," The creature hobbled after her, chattering loudly and unintelligibly.

_((Scene Change)) _

Meanwhile, on the roof of Jack Spicer's lair, Chase Young and his big cat minions lie in wait. They were poised over the tiny figures of Wuya and her new hench-demon as they walked and hovered out of the house and headed back to his fortress.

His eyes followed them until they were out of sight. "Everything seems to be going according to plan," He said.

A big white cat glanced at him suspiciously. Its body language seemed to be saying quite clearly, '_yeah right_''.

Chase Young raised an eyebrow. "No, really! This plan actually seems to be working! Stop looking like at that! This is all part of my plan! BELIEVE ME!"

There was a flare of greenish-yellow light and there was one less cat in the world. "Let that be an example to you," said Chase to the rest of his cats. "I have _everything _under control,"


	19. Xiaolin Victory

Wuya marveled at the way the creature ambled aimlessly after her. It didn't seem to be too hurried or worried about where it was going and when it got there. Of course, it kept muttering something about "me smash" or "ME REALLY SMASH YOU GOOD" but that could be attributed to the softness of its brain.

She had found that her creatures took a little while for their brains to develop the "Reality Lobe", the section of the brain that shouted "OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" whenever you did something more dangerous than munching on a banana. It was like a perpetual nanny service. Mala-Mala Jong had only just gained the Reality Lobe when the Xiaolin monks defeated him a while ago. Wuya hoped that the creature would get it more quickly. It could be the only thing that would allow her to win after this.

"GIVE RAKSHA SHEN GONG VOO!" The creature babbled, kicking a pebble down a long narrow abandoned road that led to Chase Young's forest.

"Watch it!" Wuya hissed. "He may have guards about!" She glanced around suspiciously. She hoped that one of Chase's big cats wouldn't pop out and eliminate her little Heylin dragon before she got her ghostly hands on the Shen Gong Wu. She only really needed it to fetch the Serpent's Tail and the Reversing Mirror. All of the others could go to blazes if she had those two objects.

Wuya paused, realizing that the creature was no longer following her. She turned around slowly, scanning the darkened road for any signs of an enemy around. The only thing she could see was a crushed soda can, a plastic fork, and a small, unbroken egg.

"Oh, brother," She moaned.

_((Scene Change)) _

"_Eye of DASHI!_" Omi leapt forward into the air, firing bolts from the mystic pendant. They hit the floor with a soft crackle and a cloud of smoke.

Katnappé dodged the first blast with a pirouette and used Chase's throne chair as shelter from the rest. "Hey, watch it!" She shouted. "I'm hurt!" She grabbed her shin and crumpled to the floor, groaning.

"Oh, I am so sorry!" said Omi, dropping to the ground and hurrying over to apologize.

"Don't listen to her! It's a trick!" Kimiko yelled, wishing she could break into the Showdown and help Omi out.

"Please forgive--," Omi said. He paused as he realized that the Woozy Shooter was pointed directly at his face. "…Me," He squeaked, just before the attack.

Clay was exchanging blows with four Jack Spicer duplicates when he saw the thick haze of purple smoke rising in a small pillar about twenty feet away. He could see Katnappé leaping away from it in graceful bounds and leaps. Omi must be within.

His suspicions were confirmed when Omi staggered backwards, completely disoriented. "Hi, Mud!" shouted Omi, waving wildly at him.

"Clay," said Clay helpfully, knocking down a bigheaded Jack duplicate with a gentle flick.

"Sandy muddy sandy clay! Kaolin Xiaolin! Mud boy!" Omi said with a giggle. He flashed Clay another goofy smile and fell over, clearly unconscious.

"I guess it's all up to me now," said Clay, tossing a muscular Jack duplicate over his shoulder with ease.

He cracked his knuckles absently, wondering how he could win this fight. While he could easily defeat Jack, and would have minimal problems with Katnappé, he still had ethical issues to deal with. Was it okay to fight a girl? Even if she was infused the power of an evil star? Even if _not _fighting her would result in myriad unspeakable tortures for the next 1,000 years? And the most important question: why was he asking _himself _all of these things? If he knew, he wouldn't be even thinking about this right now. Clay decided to turn to the master of moral and philosophical debates.

Reaching into the side pockets of his robes, the Dragon of the Earth produced a Magic 8 Ball. "O Mighty Mysticalous Magicalical 8 Ball…" drawled Clay, raising the small black sphere over his head. "Please reveal onto your loyal cowpoke the answer to this here conundrum,"

He shook the ball and gently tossed it onto the ground. It rolled along the floor for a bit. The Jacks and Katnappé watched it apprehensively. It could be a new Shen Gong Wu that could blow up the universe, or some strange evil-destroying monk weapon. Or perhaps it was an ordinary Tyco toy. None of them wanted to risk learning the truth when there were so many morbid options out there.

Clay waited till it slowed to a crawl, and started moving when the ball stopped rolling. He picked it up gently and turned it around so as to view the answer.

My Sources Say: Yes 

"Why is he smiling?" asked Katnappé suspiciously.

"I dunno, but I suspect that my insurance premiums are about to go up," One of the Jacks moaned.

He was right. The last thing he saw before blissful unconsciousness claimed him was a giant fist shooting across the room towards him.

Clay placed Jack Spicer against the wall and turned towards Katnappé. He felt that his initial "bear-hug" strategy would be all right to use more than once. It wasn't technically fighting, but it would help save the world. Which, incidentally, would be a good thing.

The only problem was that Katnappé wasn't there anymore.

"Wha?" murmured Clay, scratching his hair.

"SURPRISE!" shouted Katnappé. Clay felt a sharp pain in his side and realized that Katnappé had just kicked him in the ribs. "_Shard of Lightning!_" She vanished for a split second, and then reappeared. Simultaneously, several body blows struck him. Before Clay could react, Katnappé hit him with a spray from the Woozy Shooter.

Colors started to smear before his eyes, making everything blurry and out of focus. Everything in the room seemed to be slanted in a direction just outside of Clay's field of vision. Clay wasn't sure what was up, what was down, or even whether or not there were such things anymore. He was immobilized.

Katnappé, however, was not. She had retrieved Clay's new carving knife and was about to break one of the major rules of a Xiaolin Showdown by carving Clay a new bodily orifice.

"I reckon it's finally time to buy the farm," Clay said. He found it odd. After all of the times they had just barely averted global disaster from villains such as ravenous spiders, Chase Young, and Wuya, they had finally lost to Katnappé, a sneak thief.

"Not going so fast, Clay!" a familiar voice shouted. Clay's head perked up to see greenish blur shooting halfway across the room towards Katnappé. "It is not yet the time to be selling the ranch!"

"Farm," Clay corrected, but Omi wasn't listening. He had collided headfirst with Katnappé, knocking her out instantly. A sickening crunch reached Clay's ears and he saw Katnappé collapse, her Shen Gong Wu and the carving knife falling from her hands.

As the Showdown effects winded down, Dojo scampered across the playing field, collecting all of the Shen Gong Wu wagered. With the matches over, Jack, Katnappé, Tubbimura, Vlad, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay all returned to more or less normal.

"I was robbed!" Jack Spicer whined as his Ring of the 9 Dragons and Star Hanabi all vanished into the victors' winning pool.

_((Scene Change)) _

One of Chase's cats (in human form) was still lingering around the fortress, transmitting information about the battle via video relay.

"So," said Chase from his position along the rooftops of the city's various skyscrapers. "The Xiaolin dragons have triumphed over the Heylin dragons, thus vanquishing the dark powers of the Heylin star forever, hmm?"

"Yes sir," The henchman said huskily, worried that Chase might get the idea to turn him back into a cat again if he spoke with his normal high feline voice.

"That's what _they _think!" said Chase mockingly.

"No, they really did win. I saw the green one knock that girl in leather out with a head-butt! I'm not joking!" The henchman said loudly.

"Do you want to go through the same fate as Jeremiah the Bloodstained White?" Chase Young asked sweetly, referring to the cat he had vanished earlier.

"N-no! I apologize," stammered the henchman, almost dropping the video relay device.

"Good," Chase whispered.

"Yes SIR!" the henchman shouted in the audio receiver. Chase winced but remained silent. Each one of his minions has three chances. This henchman had already used up two in just a single three-minute conversation. If he used them all up, well…let's just say his severance packages will be _to die for. _

"I want you to hold your position. I will be sending three cats to assist you in your next task," Chase Young said calmly.

The man on the other end of the line shuddered. He hoped it wasn't a combat mission. All this time in cat form had made his human muscles feel ungainly and weak. He thought back wistfully to the time before he had foolishly challenged the pale, scrawny man who spoke to tigers some two hundred years ago. But it couldn't be helped. He was now an immortal servant, trapped by the whims of his even more immortal master. It's just the way the cookie crumbles. Or cracker, if you prefer.

"Relax," said Chase, as if reading his mind. "It is a simple stalking mission. I will restore you to catlike shape for this one, but don't get too used to it. You will return human shortly after the mission is over,"

The henchman nodded. Chase Young explained to him that he was now tasked with stalking the Xiaolin Dragons. "I'll try my best, sir," said the henchman, but Chase Young was no longer listening.

Chase turned away from his end of the video screen to talk to his cats. He had picked out two perfect for this mission. One of them, who in his human life had been famous thief, was to

lead the mission alongside the human henchman. The other one was a fearsome warlord in its human life and was just going along as extra muscle. After sending them off, he addressed his regular cats.

"Phase two of my plan is now complete!"

**

* * *

THE AUTHORS NOTES**

-

* * *

The magic eight ball's response is paraphrased from a real response given from the original Tyco toy. It's paraphrased because I honestly can't remember what it said since mine has been missing for quite a while now. It's probably in the attic but if I left to go look I'd get lost up there among the memorabilia for the rest of my life. I think that would be a sort of bad thing to happen to this fic. ****

* * *


	20. The Obligatory Chapter Twenty

The four cats sent on Chase's mission were a combination of brains, cunning, and brawn. The brains, which were meant to lead, were too smart to do that and let the big, brawny, yet mentally deficient thugs take the point. Of course, they would claim credit at the end, but as they say in villainy school "don't do the work if you can take the glory anyway". That's paraphrased, of course, since the original saying include swears and laser-fire.

"Okay," said the first henchmen, whose name was Stop-Crying (his parents were strict). He was now speaking entirely in Feline but it is translated here in Human English for your own convenience. Of course, you're probably not grateful at all, are you?

"Our mission," continued Stop-Crying slowly, "Is to follow the mark," He crouched low on the twisting branches of the trees outside Chase Young's fortress. Omi, Kimiko, Clay, Raimundo, and a wyvern named Dojo were leading five people out of the main doors. The five were obviously prisoners, and, knowing the Xiaolin dragons, they were probably going to end up in jail.

"Should we rescue them?" asked one of the brawny cats.

"No! Our mission is to watch," said Dark, and the four cats lay in wait.

_((Scene Change)) _

"Where do you reckon we should take these guys?" asked Clay, glaring reproachfully at the former Heylin dragons.

Omi wasn't listening. He was scanning the sky. He had expected the Heylin star to supernova in a burst of plasma-based entities and fade away within a few hours. It would be a fitting reward for all the hours and work they had spent vanquishing the enemy dragons.

"Jail, duh," said Kimiko, her eyes glued to her PDA. "There's a place a few miles away, and as soon as _Dojo_--," With that, she glared at the dragon riding on Clay's shoulder. "—decides to transform and fly, we can get there and drop them off before Master Fung realizes we're gone,"

"I think it's too late for that," Dojo said. "And besides, I've been trying to get bigger now for a while. It won't work. I think there's some kind of curse or…or some kind of mystical, magical, something-or-other…

"Barrier," Raimundo put in.

"Huh?"

"Barrier,"

"Barrio? You're not from the barrio! Quit lying!"

"I said barri_er_, Dojo!"

"What?"

"I SAID BARRIER!"

"Raimundo, stop yelling!" Dojo cleared his breath as Raimundo seethed behind him. "Anyway, I was trying to say that there's a mystical magical barrio preventing me from transforming…"

"Or walking," Clay said, glancing at the little wyvern.

"What?" asked Dojo loudly, scratching his ears vigorously.

"I said you don't seem to be able to walk either, on account of you riding on my shoulders all the time,"

"Soldiers? We don't have soldiers! If we did, we wouldn't be doing all of this on our own,"

"Not soldiers. Shoulders. SHOULDERS!" Raimundo interjected.

"Is that about that GI Joe doll--,"

"Action figure,"

"—doll that I ate last week, I said I was sorry! Let it go!"

"I did let it go until you brought it up again!"

"COULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!" Kimiko shouted, and Dojo, Raimundo, and Clay quickly closed their mouths.

"I think there's something lodged in my ear," said Dojo.

Raimundo was about to say something but Kimiko glared at him. He fell silent and they continued to walk down the lonely road leading away from the fortress. It seemed to wind on and on forever. The other dragons wondered how Omi had arrived here so quickly when they had needed to ride Dojo to make it there within one day. They attributed it to the Mantis Flip Coin, not wanting to think about any other scenarios.

"Why aren't you guys talking?" asked Clay, looking at the Heylin dragons and Jack Spicer.

Jack scowled at him. "You know, I'm a minor. I'll get out in two days, three tops!"

"Cool," said Rai. "Of course, that won't matter since you have ZERO Shen Gong Wu and can't Showdown anymore! And without Wuya, you can't even _find _anything,"

Jack had nothing to say to this, and decided to remain silent. He had to come with a plan or else he'd have to take over the world using nothing but his own power. He had no robots, no henchmen, no Wuya…

_((Scene Change)) _

Speaking of Wuya, the ghost hag was still searching for her creature. The stupid thing had crawled away somewhere and was probably discussing 'ME SMASH' with a few caterpillars in a corner. "And I thought Jack was useless," Wuya hissed, peering over a patch of grass in a corner.

Then she heard footsteps.

"Oh blast it!" She hissed. She could tell, just from the sound of the steps, that the monks were approaching. They were probably towing her useless Heylin dragons. She had already stripped them of their powers to feed into the new Heylin dragon, which had now gone missing.

"Heylin dragon, come to me!" commanded Wuya imperiously.

There was a loud crack and a weak crunch. Wuya spun around in midair and saw a small point of light winking at her from a short way down the road.

Having lived for thousands of years, Wuya knew when things were about to hit the ceilings. Her danger sense could detect an evil plan dissolving just by glancing at the pupil dilation of her henchmen. It was a great gift, although it did make her too apprehensive at times.

"HEYLIN DRAGON! COME TO ME AT ONCE!" Wuya howled. Then, without seeing whether or not her creature would be approaching, the ghost hag flew swiftly into a log on the side of the road and stay there to watch the events unfold.

****


	21. Boiling Point

"You know what?" asked Jack after a while. "Maybe we should just forget about this whole thing! I mean, really. I'm a minor. I'll be out in no time. And I'm really young. Kids make mistakes, isn't that right...Clay?" Jack glanced hopefully at Clay. The cowboy ignored him. "Kimiko?" Kimiko became suddenly interested in a point of light far off in the distance. "Never mind, then. Be that way. You'll hear from my lawy--,"

"Dude," interrupted Katnappe. "Do you ever shut up?"

"...no," replied Jack and fell silent again. He busied himself with making up things to tell his juvenile corrections officer. He had come up with four lies so far, one of them involving his evil robot double and the rest involving assassins and bicycles. They were fairly convulted, but they were really just for show. His dad would flash some money and he'd be quickly processed and back home in a matter of hours. And if that didn't work, he would simply break out and use the Wushan Geyser to make everyone forget. But then again, he didn't have that Wu any more...or did he?

* * *

"How is it going?" asked Chase. 

His henchman hesitated to respond. "It's g-going good, s-sir,"

"It's going _well_, you illiterate buffoon,"

"S-sorry, s-s-sir,"

"And stop stammering, twit. Servility should be left to the masters, like Jack Spicer,"

"S-s- er, I mean, sorry sir,"

"What have you seen?"

"W-w-w- At the current moment, we have seen the Xiaolin warriors travelling up the same path that Wuya is on. They will meet somewhere around the center. Wuya has hidden, however, and the other cats grow impatient. Perhaps we should--,"

"Silence. And what of the Heylin dragon?"

"I think they're going to jail,"

"No, not the Heylin dragon_s. _The Heylin dragon. The true one that I assisted Wuya in summoning a few hours ago. Where is it?"

"It...um...it's building a trap,"

"Really?"

"Yes, sir,"

"Hmm, intriguing," Chase pulled out of the conversation and nodded his head slowly. It seemed as if everything was following the plan he had laid out. Perhaps everything would work as planned. If it all worked out like Chase wanted it to, Wuya would be gone forever, the Xiaolin monks would be dead, and absolute power would be in his grasp forever. Of course, since nothing ever happens the way it's expected to, everything falls apart. Piece, by piece...


End file.
